A Tentative Conclusion...
...To this part of my journey. Not the end. No final answers here.
Just where I have found myself for now in this never ending journey.
Hopefully this blog has left you hanging. At least that was one of my goals. This process sure has left me hanging. There is no certainty. Nobody knows anything for sure. Sometimes I get asked, “what if you are wrong?” And my response is “what if I am?” Being right or being wrong is not the point. I’m quite sure that probably we are all wrong. There is a much better chance of that than there is of a small group of people that are in constant disagreement among themselves, proclaiming to the world that they are the only ones that are right, which is an arrogant proclamation that the rest of the world is dead wrong and going to hell, begging the question, "how big is hell anyway?" https://livingwithopenhands2.blogspot.com/2021/03/heaven-and-hell-and-other-such-stories.html. Here is an example: the percentage of Evangelical Christian in the world is 7.9%. These are split up into 706 Evangelical denominations worldwide. https://lausanne.org/lgc-transfer/number-of-evangelicals-worldwide
As I’ve said many times, I don’t write because I know, I write because I don’t know. But I’ve found this the best way to learn. I can’t begin to learn by already thinking I know. That stops all learning dead in its tracks. I can’t learn anything when I attach my own dogma to it; no matter if it is my own internal dogma or all of the external dogma and conditioning that we have had shoved down our throats all of our lives. The point here is to learn to ask better questions, to get better at open-ended inquiry; open to new ideas, and open to new understandings. The reason I called this a tentative conclusion is that this blog will continue to evolve just as I must continue to evolve.. Writing is something that I’m compelled to do and this world sure has plenty of things to keep writing about. So as I learn new things, I write about them so that I can return to it and remember all that I have learned and so I can remember who I am. I must continue to write who I am.
As I described in “Why I write 2.0”, there are at least two ways of writing. The most common is writing about an area of expertise after studying it for a long time. This type of writing tends to spoon feed us answers from authors that think they know. This is a process of “knowing” not a process of inquiry. And that is not what I’ve tried to do here at all. Writing, for me, has become a deeply disruptive and transformative process of inquiry that does not end with answers since this world has a deficit of answers and an abundance of questions. It is a process that is never ending rather than conclusive, dynamic rather than fixed or static, so that we walk away not with answers but with more and better questions.
Again, writing for me has become a deeply disruptive and transformative process of inquiry. I have recently added the word disruptive to this personal definition of writing that I’ve had for a long time. Disruptive changes the whole dynamic. It is a painful, heartbreaking process of letting go or ripping and stripping things away so that we can get to the essence of being human, essence of meaning for me, and the essence of purpose for me. Often transformation requires that we are stopped dead in our tracks, otherwise we will never pay attention. Our default is to keep going and going and staying busy and busier, constantly on the move. But it so happens that within each and every second are teachable moments. But too often we miss them. We miss life passing us by. All of life is our teacher that gives us lessons of wisdom day by day, minute by minute, second by second. The questions we must ask ourselves are: 1) What are my learning abilities? And 2) what are my learning dis-abilities? Am I listening? Am I looking? Am I paying attention? Am I aware of the abundance of life surrounding me? As life waits and listens to me, I must learn to wait and listen to life. Then we can learn to live a life in constant dialogue with everything around us. Remember: Dialogue as a Way of Life.
What I don’t know.
Knowing what I don’t know is the beginnings of new learning journeys, identifying that which I want to know more about.
I don’t know the origins of the universe or the origins of life but I am fascinated by what is being discovered.
I don’t understand the microcosm of our universe, especially the space between that we used to think was empty, but I am fascinated by what is being discovered by quantum physics and am trying to keep up.
I don’t understand the macrocosm and the vastness of space but I am fascinated by cosmology and astrology and the discoveries occurring further and further out into space and hence further and further back in time. This is the manifest universe (taoism) or the explicate order (physics - Bohm).
I don’t understand the unmanifest universe that we cannot see but this implicate order, I think, holds a key to understanding all things metaphysical both large and small.
The implicate order (in physics) is the unmanifest universe (in taoism). The explicate order is the manifest universe that unfolds from the implicate order and then enfolds back into it. The whole universe is a continual process of unfolding and enfolding. What we perceive is that which has unfolded. This process is a great mystery that begins to help us understand how things work.
I don’t know the depth and complexity of the human brain and body but I am fascinated by consciousness, thought, perception, and the way we interface with reality using images and concepts filtered through our worldview.
I don’t understand the human brain and all of its complexities and abilities but I’m fascinated by what is being discovered today.
I don’t know the full scope and depth of language and words but that is a learning journey I’m on.
What I can’t know.
This is embracing the mystery and uncertainty of life as it is.
What do we know? How do we know what we know? How do we know what we think we know? What do we think we know that we can never comprehend or apprehend?
Mystery permeates all of life and the universe.
Mystery is not something to be named or labeled or defined.
Wonder and awe are the only authentic responses to mystery.
Words diminish and desecrate by defining and limiting all that which is greater than us.
Words give us a false sense of certainty and security.
Words give us a false sense of knowing that which we cannot know.
Understanding that there are far too many people claiming to know the things we can’t know at this point in history.
Learning to discern what we know, don’t know, and can’t know is very important to keep us humble and remember how puny we are in the vastness of this universe.
“Each of us creates a picture of our world by connecting a dozen or so of the trillions of dots that would need to be connected to make a ‘true’ portrait of the universe.” — Sam Keen
Remember: How do we know that we know what we know?
"Where the mystery is the deepest is the gate of all that is subtle and wonderful." (Lao Tzu)
What I do know.
This is a question of “how then shall I live?”
The things that we know, if well discerned,
help us create our worldview; the way we See.
I know that the me within is the source of the me in this world.
I know that inward and outward alignment is what determines integrity.
I know that my external actions in the world must reflect my internal values and beliefs.
I know and am overwhelmed by my own puniness in the face of the vastness of existence.
When I know I don’t know, this is the beginning of all learning and all knowledge.
I know that “If I know, I can no longer learn.”
Too many people think they know things that they don’t know.
I know that most of life is about remembering what I already know down deep in my bones.
I know there is a knowing that is individual and a knowing that is collective and often passed down through generations. But we must learn to discern the difference between knowing and conditioning.
I know that truth is not something that can be spoon fed. It is that which resonates deep in my bones. It is something that is lived.
I know that each person is different and sees things differently, therefore there is no one creed or doctrine or theology or one path for all of us. That would be antihuman; contradicting the essence of our nature.
I know that when we react or respond in words, then those words often do not come from silence but rather from the noise around us and/or the noise in our heads.
I know that when we take the time for a reflective response, often those words come from a stillness and silence within. This is our source, a fountain of inner life that sustains us.
I know that language is very complex and that we often abuse it by thinking words are the reality itself rather than what we know them to be; simply signs and symbols that can only point toward reality.
I know that no one’s perception of reality is direct and hence is not accurate. It is filtered through our worldview, lens, beliefs, and conditioning; subconsciously.
We see things not as they are. We see things as we are.
All of Life is Our Teacher
Out of the Silence
Healing comes out of the Silence.
Meaningful Words come out of the Silence.
Meaningful Life and Living come only out of the Silence,
the Stillness, the Source.
Empty words and empty living come out of the noisiness and busyness engulfing us.
Out of an unsettled and chaotic culture come incoherent lives.
Incoherence means that our thoughts and actions do not lead to the results that we are looking for.
Out of stillness and silence come settled and coherent lives come thoughts and actions that lead to the results we are looking for.
After my life completely fell apart, for four years, I was bleeding internally, I could not heal no matter how much religious practice and prayers, crying out in desperation for healing.
Then I sat under the teachings of a Buddhist Priest at a conference in Toronto. It was not to learn Buddhism but to learn the practice of stillness, silence, and presence through the Shambhala tradition. It helped us to be fully present during the conference. That is when the healing began. I brought this learning back home and found a Quaker meeting that worshiped in silence so that I could allow this internal healing to continue to wash over me. That was the only thing that finally healed me, although the scars will always be there to remind me who I am and the fires through which I came.
During this process of transformation, I learned to live out of the silence rather than the noise. I learned to speak out of the silence rather than the noise. Quakers practiced this in everything they do together. At that time I described the difference like this. Shambhala meditation was learning to be silent for the sake of being silent. Quakers practiced silence as a way to quiet themselves to listen to life, God, that still small voice within, or the inner teacher. Often it is waiting for the sake of waiting. I realize now that we are really listening both for the sake of silence and listening to that which is greater than us, the mystery that surrounds us and nurtures us, just like it nurtures the flowers and the sparrows. Some people have a need to name and define this mystery. I realized that by naming and defining that which is greater than me, I am limiting something that is boundless and eternal. The only thing that apprehends such greatness is awareness through silence, not words or noise or the crazy busyness of this life. It is stillness that heals and nourishes us because stillness is the natural state of all creation.
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