Grasping, Gripping, Groping, Griping

Sometimes I feel like most of my life has been nothing but

grasping...

gripping…

groping…

griping…


Grasping what is not mine.

Gripping what is temporal.

Groping for what is permanent.

Griping about what I don’t have.

Sort of like a dog chasing its tail,

I have lived my life in repeating circles.

After a heartbreaking experience

I spend myself with tears of loss.

Sometimes for many months,

sometimes for many years.

Then there is a shift and

I spend myself with tears of longing.

Sometimes for many months,

sometimes for many years.

Finally . . .

I begin to realize that

“Loss” is the past.

I cannot bring that back…

“Longing” is the future.

That is out of my hands…

What if life were to be spent on nothing but love

…of each moment

…of each person

…of life

…all of life?

Each experience?

Every encounter?

Fully present, fully aware, fully conscious, fully alive.

What if the only tears were tears of love? What if???

I - Thou (versus) I - It

There are two ways that we can live in this world

I - Thou: You and I are equals with equal value and equal voice. Dignity, trust, and respect undergirds our relationship. We meet eye to eye, face to face, without threat or dominance, without expectations or demands. Thou applies to all things since we are in relationship with all things: all people, all creatures, the earth upon which we depend, the universe upon which the earth depends.

I - It: When Thou is diminished to It, the “I” changes and the world changes. The relationship becomes transactional and conditional; it is devalued and becomes worthless. We treat the “other” as an object to be used for selfish purposes. Worst of all, the “I” is diminished to a user, a dominator, a controller, a consumer. Both the “I” and the “It” have become objects… things… using each other.

We must learn to see all as "thou", as sacred: all people, all living creatures, the whole earth, and the universe. All are of great value to be honored and respected, which means they are to be cared for unconditionally.

We must learn to see when we have diminished the "other" to an "it"; an object or thing for our use, abuse, or disdain. Seeing the "other" as lesser than us is in itself an act of violence or profanity that not only diminishes the "other" but diminishes ourselves even more.

The person that lives in this world in an "I" - "Thou" relationship with all creation completely changes when it shifts to an "i" - "it" relationship. We become takers and users for our own means, thereby diminishing our own humanity, our own sacredness, our own integrity.

This is the beginning of the demise of our own humanity.

Using our words, attitudes, and actions we bring on so mindlessly the destruction of the innate sacredness of all creation.

Words Matter

The Power of Words for Destruction or Healing

Words can be used as bullets or seeds.

Words are the initial act of war or peace.

When I was a kid, I’d hear someone cut loose with a bunch of words that I was not allowed to use, our standard response would be, “Your intelligence is showing!” We all knew what that meant, even the person that was cursing. In other words, your LACK OF intelligence is showing. It was an easy, nonthreatening reminder that the whole playground understood.

Now, in a world full of incendiary, inflammatory, polemic rhetoric, do words still matter 50 years later? Or do we just say whatever we feel and forget the impact on those around us, on ourselves, and on our world? Are we civilized or uncivilized? Are we characterized by civility or incivility?

It used to be that those in politics never used “bad” words and knew it was unprofessional and beneath the office to use words that were inflammatory, derogatory, vilifying, expletive, obscene, or profane. But now we hear those words daily. Since the inception of our country, there has been a very clear unwritten rule that expects the office of the presidency to be the moral center of our government including the words and actions of that high position, the most powerful person in the world. They knew they were accountable as elected representatives of their constituents and role models before their families. Character first, then policy That was a given even though it was not written. I wonder if the Office of the President will ever recover and become the place of dignity and honor that it has been since our founders.

We also know from recent history what happens when dictators stoke fear and hate with their words by categorizing and eliminating hated groups of people and we as a world vowed to never make such mistakes again after the last world war. This is a line that we would never cross and we were all raised that way. And yet, we are stupid creatures that forget so quickly.

Ways we are seeing language used. Ways that are becoming common:

• Dehumanizing people: immigrants as animals, vermin
• Name calling and insults: both individuals and groups of people
• Labeling: democrats think or say "this", republicans think or say "that",
• Extremism: Invasion, infestation
• Exaggeration: people pouring over the borders, all of them criminals
• Conspiracy theories: Hoax, witch hunt, fake news
• Blaming: constantly blaming others so that he does not have to take responsibility
• Whatever happened to "the buck stops here?"

Words reflect our thoughts and our thoughts are what creates the world that we must then live in. We are shaping the world around us with the words that we use. Words reflect our character or lack thereof.

What are we creating?
Being Human or Inhuman, Humane or Inhumane, Honoring and Respecting or
Peace or Violence, Nurturing or Destroying with insults and name-calling.

Never in my life have I known another person that is as vile and vulgar, cruel and mean, stoking fear and hate, full of anger and furry, with no filters whatsoever, and no sense of honoring and respecting other humans besides himself. Because of this alone, this is a man that I would never allow my kids to be around or even watch on TV, that I would never be around myself, that I would never ever follow. Because I knew I would have to become a lesser person with a dulled conscience; sacrificing my own integrity. What happened. Why? I wish I knew.

Civility is an expression of a deeper integrity (or lack of) among human beings (both individually and collectively). It is also a matter of life and death. Dehumanization is the first step of elimination and death.

Words are a means to an end. So we must ask ourselves daily what are the results of the words that we use? What ends do they achieve? Do we seek destructive ends (violence) or a civil society (civilization)?

"In the final analysis, means and ends must cohere because the end is preexistent in the means, and, ultimately, destructive means cannot bring about constructive ends."
—Martin Luther King Jr.

Inflammatory words bring destructive results and are another form of violence and bullying. They convey a complete lack of dignity, honor, and respect for our brothers and sisters; and are equally destructive to the one that speaks them. In other words, this is a systematic dehumanization and self destruction of individuals and society. Bullying is the lazy man's way of dominating and decimating one's opponents. Instead of having a civil, intelligent conversation about differences, a life-changing dialogue, a disagreement is turned into war, a win-lose scenario, needlessly, mindlessly, and heartlessly. This is the lazy man's way done by labeling, name-calling, and demeaning the "other". This is the ultimate dehumanization of the human spirit. This is a violence of the heart that corrupts ultimately and totally destroys first the aggressor and then the one that has been dishonored and disrespected, then destroyed. The human race has no place for such despicable and deplorable behavior. It is like a carnivor devouring the flesh of an innocent child, out of cowardice, fear, and a need to dominate.

I'M A U.S. MARINE, AND THIS ISN'T THE FREEDOM OF SPEECH I SERVED TO PROTECT | OPINION

https://www.newsweek.com/us-marine-free-speech-abuse-1452286

Violence at the Core

Minding our interactions, both verbal and nonverbal

Have microaggressions become natural responses to our fellow humans?

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” (Jiddu Krishnamurti)

“Yet when we ‘choose life,’ we quickly confront the reality of a culture riddled with violence. By violence I mean more than the physical savagery that gets much of the press. Far more common are those assaults on the human spirit so endemic to our lives that we may not even recognize them as acts of violence.” (Parker Palmer)

“Violence is anytime a person violates the identity or integrity of another person” (Parker Palmer)

With this corruption,

This worm at the core,

We are nurturing, whether

Intentionally or unintentionally,

Consciously or unconsciously,

A culture of violence;

From which we may never recover.

This corruption consists of seeds 

That are cultivating

Disrespect and dishonor, 

Inequality and hatred,

Inferiority and superiority,

Oppression and dominance.

We are rotting 

From the inside out

From the outside in

From the top down.

From the bottom up.