Words Matter

The Power of Words for Destruction or Healing

Words can be used as bullets or seeds.

Words are the initial act of war or peace.

When I was a kid, I’d hear someone cut loose with a bunch of words that I was not allowed to use, our standard response would be, “Your intelligence is showing!” We all knew what that meant, even the person that was cursing. In other words, your LACK OF intelligence is showing. It was an easy, nonthreatening reminder that the whole playground understood.

Now, in a world full of incendiary, inflammatory, polemic rhetoric, do words still matter 50 years later? Or do we just say whatever we feel and forget the impact on those around us, on ourselves, and on our world? Are we civilized or uncivilized? Are we characterized by civility or incivility?

It used to be that those in politics never used “bad” words and knew it was unprofessional and beneath the office to use words that were inflammatory, derogatory, vilifying, expletive, obscene, or profane. But now we hear those words daily. Since the inception of our country, there has been a very clear unwritten rule that expects the office of the presidency to be the moral center of our government including the words and actions of that high position, the most powerful person in the world. They knew they were accountable as elected representatives of their constituents and role models before their families. Character first, then policy That was a given even though it was not written. I wonder if the Office of the President will ever recover and become the place of dignity and honor that it has been since our founders.

We also know from recent history what happens when dictators stoke fear and hate with their words by categorizing and eliminating hated groups of people and we as a world vowed to never make such mistakes again after the last world war. This is a line that we would never cross and we were all raised that way. And yet, we are stupid creatures that forget so quickly.

Ways we are seeing language used. Ways that are becoming common:

• Dehumanizing people: immigrants as animals, vermin
• Name calling and insults: both individuals and groups of people
• Labeling: democrats think or say "this", republicans think or say "that",
• Extremism: Invasion, infestation
• Exaggeration: people pouring over the borders, all of them criminals
• Conspiracy theories: Hoax, witch hunt, fake news
• Blaming: constantly blaming others so that he does not have to take responsibility
• Whatever happened to "the buck stops here?"

Words reflect our thoughts and our thoughts are what creates the world that we must then live in. We are shaping the world around us with the words that we use. Words reflect our character or lack thereof.

What are we creating?
Being Human or Inhuman, Humane or Inhumane, Honoring and Respecting or
Peace or Violence, Nurturing or Destroying with insults and name-calling.

Never in my life have I known another person that is as vile and vulgar, cruel and mean, stoking fear and hate, full of anger and furry, with no filters whatsoever, and no sense of honoring and respecting other humans besides himself. Because of this alone, this is a man that I would never allow my kids to be around or even watch on TV, that I would never be around myself, that I would never ever follow. Because I knew I would have to become a lesser person with a dulled conscience; sacrificing my own integrity. What happened. Why? I wish I knew.

Civility is an expression of a deeper integrity (or lack of) among human beings (both individually and collectively). It is also a matter of life and death. Dehumanization is the first step of elimination and death.

Words are a means to an end. So we must ask ourselves daily what are the results of the words that we use? What ends do they achieve? Do we seek destructive ends (violence) or a civil society (civilization)?

"In the final analysis, means and ends must cohere because the end is preexistent in the means, and, ultimately, destructive means cannot bring about constructive ends."
—Martin Luther King Jr.

Inflammatory words bring destructive results and are another form of violence and bullying. They convey a complete lack of dignity, honor, and respect for our brothers and sisters; and are equally destructive to the one that speaks them. In other words, this is a systematic dehumanization and self destruction of individuals and society. Bullying is the lazy man's way of dominating and decimating one's opponents. Instead of having a civil, intelligent conversation about differences, a life-changing dialogue, a disagreement is turned into war, a win-lose scenario, needlessly, mindlessly, and heartlessly. This is the lazy man's way done by labeling, name-calling, and demeaning the "other". This is the ultimate dehumanization of the human spirit. This is a violence of the heart that corrupts ultimately and totally destroys first the aggressor and then the one that has been dishonored and disrespected, then destroyed. The human race has no place for such despicable and deplorable behavior. It is like a carnivor devouring the flesh of an innocent child, out of cowardice, fear, and a need to dominate.

I'M A U.S. MARINE, AND THIS ISN'T THE FREEDOM OF SPEECH I SERVED TO PROTECT | OPINION

https://www.newsweek.com/us-marine-free-speech-abuse-1452286

U.S. Marine in the above article: "as someone who served in the US Marine Corps, who protected and defended the Constitution with his life, I think I've earned my place to speak my truth."

"We as a society appear to be struggling with the very basics of respect and dignity. Where do we strike the balance between freedom of speech and indecent speech? Freedom of speech and bigoted speech? Demeaning speech? Disrespectful speech? Divisive speech? Mocking speech? And how about outright hate speech?

"And although there's plenty of blame to go around, you can't help but mention the role our President continues to play. Tweet after tweet, rally after rally, he just doesn't seem to stop. It's as if every time he speaks he removes a part of what was generally accepted as part of our American ideals; liberty, equality, unity and diversity."

We Choose

Everyday, we choose a path; life or death, civilization or destruction, violence or peace.

Politics and religion become completely irrelevant in the face of incivility. We must learn to be human and humane before we can effectively worship or govern ourselves, both individually and collectively.

We must first become human again before we can have a life-giving politics and regain civility and civilization.

Ends and Means:

• Means happen in the present moment whether intentional or not
• Ends begin to unfold in the very next moment and continue on into the future. 
• The result (ends) is seen in and felt by our children and communities of the future; the more extreme, the more fierce their momentum and destruction.

This is proven true everyday in families. The way we treat our children comes back on us embodied by love or hate, hope or fear. bullying or oppression. We can read the impact (ends) of our words and actions in the innocent face of a child. It can't be missed if we are looking and aware and care.

If we as a society do not hit the "stop" button, this story will continue playing with results ripping apart our future, both the near and far.

“Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.”
Yehuda Berg

Thich Nhat Hanh, a contemporary Buddhist monk and global peace worker and writer in his book, Being Peace states “speaking honestly in any negotiation between individuals or groups is necessary. Speaking the truth in a loving way is also necessary.” Hahn recommends only “loving speech” even when we are communicating about our differences and disagreements. We must be ‘lovingly honest’; we must discipline ourselves to speak in a manner that conveys respect, gentleness, and humility’.

Gary Chapman in his book, Love as a Way of Life uses the vivid metaphor for words as being either ‘bullets or seeds’. If we use our words as bullets with a feeling of superiority and condemnation, we are not going to be able to restore a relationship to love. If we use our words as seeds with a feeling of supportiveness and sincere good will, we can rebuild a relationship in positive and life-affirming ways.

When we need to talk candidly about something difficult with another person, we must focus on the conversation with keen attention and purpose. During the conversation, we must listen patiently, speak tactfully, and tell the truth as we understand it. We must align our words, voice inflection and tone, eye expression, body language, and actions with our inner awareness in an honest exchange.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-power-of-spoken-words_b_6324786

There was a time when civilized societies would not use inflammatory language to create undesirables (the enemy) because we learned our lessons well from Hitler and Stalin and others in recent history about how destructive this sort of rhetoric can be.

We must again learn to discipline ourselves to speak in a manner that conveys respect, gentleness, and humility using a language of peace rather than a language of violence. It takes hard work, and is not for the faint of heart or for the lazy man.

Beware of the Obsession of Inflammatory Language. It is simply exaggeration and misinformation used to stoke fear.

It is another form of violence.

For example, words like invasion, infestation, bad people, murderers, drug dealers, gangs, pouring over our borders, etc. These words are used, not for accurate communication but as trigger words causing an emotional reaction for manipulation.

"It was the obsession that one French scholar , writing of Cambodia, called the “mania for classification and elimination of different elements of society.” In each one of them, the groundwork for violence against a specific group — whether an ethnicity, an economic class or a political faction — was originally laid by a very particular way of using language."
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/global-opinions/the-dark-history-behind-trumps-inflammatory-language/2018/06/22/54288982-7649-11e8-b4b7-308400242c2e_story.html

The violence of words

Every word we say, whether online or face to face contains the capacity for creating peace or creating violence.

Every encounter we have with others changes us, for better or worse.

Before each of us lies a path of life or death, peace or violence.

Choose life. Choose peace.

Decide what makes life meaningful for you and those around you if you want to be happy.

Be intentional and thoughtful about every word.

Violence has needlessly become an epidemic on social media, news media, and everyday life.

https://www.axios.com/political-views-tops-list-of-reasons-people-are-harassed-online-1513304117-741c5c5c-8cb8-4485-94a6-1a41dfefc7c9.html