My World & Life View: a new story emerging

Our old old story is weak and worn. It has lost its meaning in a day and age of exponential knowledge growth. 

Our old worldview is not sustainable. It’s foundations are unstable and crumbling.

I See a New Story is Emerging out of these paradigms, each of these rooted in ancient wisdom:

Living With Open Hands and

Seeing through the Eyes of the Brokenhearted and

Seeing through the Eyes of our own Brokenheartedness.

Living Life in a Spirit of Dialogue is a way that overcomes our old old story of Separation and Conflict, Dominance and Control. 

Living in a Spirit of Dialogue means we must learn to suspend our assumptions, our agenda (hidden or not), our ego, our need to be right, our judgment, our attachment, and our resistance to others, to difference, to life. It presumes the necessity of equality, openness, respect for all leading to understanding, commonality, and shared meaning.

A World & Life View is the foundation from which we see and interpret our world and our life in our world. We do not see the world as it is. We see the world as we are. Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. This is true because thought creates the world. We understand the world according to what our thoughts tell us. Perspective! And no two people see it the same.

We create a lens that works like rose colored glasses and changes our perception. 

We filter reality through a lens that helps us interpret reality 

according to what we have been told all of our lives. 

If we think the world is out to get us, then we will live in fear. 

If we think that refugees are coming for our jobs or our homes, 

then we will define refugees as enemies in our minds and hate them. 

If we think that “liberals” are coming for our church, guns, money, possessions, or, 

Heaven forbid, Christmas, then we will define liberals accordingly and hate them. 

If we think that people like us are good and the rest are bad, 

then we will hate and fear those that are different. 

This is the way of the world.

Thought, both individual and collective, is trying to protect us and keep us alive like it did when we hunted and gathered. But since we are not in danger of being eaten by predators, it continues to seek the enemy so that it can protect us. Those that are not aware of their thoughts and their intentions end up blindly thinking and acting mindlessly. We live in a world full of people that do not realize this and if they do not realize this, then they cannot do the innerwork necessary to live responsible lives. 

Are you paying attention?

Are you blissfully unaware?

Are you intentionally ignorant?

Are you unintentionally ignorant?

Do you know what you don’t know?

Do you not know what you don’t know?

Are we going through life with our eyes shut?

Are we going through life with our mind shut?

Are we going through life with our heart shut?

Or are we learning to live with an open mind and open heart?

Living mindfully begins by taking care of our own house which means we must pay attention to each thought we think, each word we say, and each action we take. Mostly people do what feels good without considering the impact of what they think, say, and do. But everything we think, say, and do matters. And it affects everyone around us. The problem is that everything we think, do, and say has become automatic, based on our world and life view. What is it that is driving us? It is the way we see the world and interpret it.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious,

it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.”

(Carl Jung)

Fate and the Absurd

 Is there meaning and purpose?

Or just fate and the absurd?

Good or Evil or both?

Beauty or Ugliness or both?

Light or Darkness or both?

Order or Chaos or both?

Meaning or Despair or both?

Destiny or Absurdity or both?

“Today I give thanks for it all,

Though I do not understand much of what I see,

I surrender anyway....

I trust in the Goodness of Life,

I open to the One that breathes me,

To the One who has given me one more day

To feel so alive and free” 

(Flora Aube)

This really resonates within me… mostly. At least, I want to believe it. 

But I can no longer trust “the One” that stands indifferent to all of the suffering in this world. 

I can no longer put my faith in “the One”, whose only response to me is the indifference of silence and invisibility.

I keep coming back to a very obvious conclusion, there is something that is greater than me that sustains life and the universe. Without naming it or giving it a personality, maybe the One is what it is. And maybe no one really knows what it is. How could they? So for me, I think the “One that breathes me” is simply “that which breathes me” and gives me life. The Breath or Force that gives Life. No naming, no labeling. It is what it is. Or if Breath could make a first person statement, I am what I am. Of course, "first person" is personification, anthropomorphism, and simply put, creating god in our image. What we do know is that there is Something Greater that sustains us.

Obviously, there is some sort of order, some sort of initiation of life and creation, some sort of unmoved mover, some sort of ground of being, some sort of intelligence that gives sustainability to life. I also see that personally, at times, there is some sort of incidental graces or synchronicity that brings things together in my life that seems close to miraculous, something that can be perceived as meaning and purpose. I also see that I am exactly where I am meant to be at every moment. What does that mean? I have no idea. I see that everything I need, I already have. Is this just me slipping back into magical thinking? Or are these senses something real? Can I trust myself and my intuitive senses or is that just another illusion nurtured by absurdity? 

In the quote at the beginning, “to the One” for me has a feeling of personification and anthropomorphism, like we are creating a god in our image that is a “friend” or an individual or a person or a projection of human characteristics that we hope for, all wrapped up in our imaginary friend in the sky.  I have always strongly believed in meaning and purpose. I think that I believed it so strongly, needed it so strongly, that I was willing to create my own god that loves me and tells me what to do and watches out for me and listens to me when I cry out or pray… with no response, ever, but deathly, suffocating silence and unsettling, haunting invisibility in response.

“Rising, streetcar, four hours in the office or the factory, meal, streetcar, four hours of work, meal, sleep, and Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday and Saturday according to the same rhythm.” (The Myth of Sisyphus)

“This set up a disturbing problem for Camus. Recognizing that human existence is a futile merry go round with no end but death, stimulates an appetite for clarity – a desire to understand the absolute ordering principles and purpose behind the universe. But our reason is confined to the evidence from our experience, and thus when it comes to the spiritual comforts we long for, there can be no certainty whatsoever.” https://academyofideas.com/2016/04/introduction-to-camus-the-absurd-revolt-and-rebellion/ 

13 Reasons Why -- The Deconstruction of My Deconversion

 My Religious Demise: step by step

Another step deeper into darkness. . . closer to the light.

For a more expanded and indepth version, go here: My Philosophical Evolution

I started seriously studying the bible when I was in high school. Recently, my brother said to me that the one thing that impressed him about me back then is that anyone that would come home from working second shift and study the bible until 3 AM must be alright. He was 5 years younger than me and we shared a bedroom together.

I went to a fundamentalist bible college and got a degree in religion (with as many classes in bible as possible) with a Greek and Bible minor. I taught home bible studies to college students, I was a church youth leader, a deacon, worship leader, and on and on. Now I see that all of the study I did of the bible went through a very strong filter that says the bible is inerrant and so it cannot be wrong. Any discrepancy must be reconcilable and therefore I must find a way for the errors to be erased in my mind. And if it cannot be wrong, then questioning it is not only pointless but it is a sin, a lack of faith. It was my fault, which was a perfect blinder for me to not see what the bible really said. So when I read the bible directly now with my eyes open, without dogma, filters, without basic assumptions, confirmation bias, and preconceived ideas, it is a whole new book from what I had been brainwashed to believe all my life. This change began about 15 years ago. Much of this blog is about that process.

I’ve been deconstructing my deconversion to further understand what has happened to me. I can no longer unsee the things that I can now see. I can no longer digress when I have progressed and deepened so much. But why me? I really didn’t want to change. I was content.

1. I earned a bachelor's degree in religion, bible, and greek at a well known Evangelical, bible, liberal arts college. There I was required to develop a Christian world and life view based on my indepth studies of the bible. Along with the knowledge of my faith growing, there has been a deepening dissonance throughout my 30s and 40s. I could not quiet it with pat answers anymore. The answers were no longer alive, they were dying on the vine and I was becoming desperate. I began to understand and appreciate a good question; how it deepened me and opened me up. That's why on April Fool's Day, 2006, I began blogging. I didn't write because I knew anything, I wrote because I no longer knew anything. I wrote in order to understand and listen to life. I wrote because I was desperate to go deeper; following the truth no matter where it would lead.

2. Then life upended me. It was like a whirlwind ripping and ransacking, uprooting and upending everything in my life. The American Dream, gone. In the spring of 2008, I lost my marriage (divorced!), I lost my kids half time (joint custody!), I lost my house (forclosed!), I lost my job (downsized!), I lost my mental health (clinical depression!). Like my first divorce when I was 30, I turned to God and clung to what I was taught. It seemed to work back then. But this time, I prayed harder and harder. I studied the bible more and more. I went to church every chance I could. And yet those deep wounds would not heal. I tried and tried and tried. I cried and cried and cried. I cried out and cried out and cried out. But I could not muster up enough faith to keep me going. But, I kept writing. I didn't know why. I just knew that I had to. The compulsion to keep on writing was undeniable, incessant, and irrepressible. I had to write. It took a long time to begin to understand that it was the silence, the reflection, and the contemplation that began my healing. This I learned from a Buddhist Priest as I practiced shambhala meditation in Toronto. I carried it on for a few more years in silent worship with the Quakers. And continue to practice stillness informally everyday.

3. The questions along with the dissonance became a continuous and relentless roar throughout my 50s. It reminds me of the neverending tinnitus in my ears now in my 60s. At times it brings me to my knees.

4. First it hit me that "knowing" is a presumption that we have abused. We do not

"know" and we cannot "know." And it also hit me that if I already know, I can no longer learn. The dogma, assumptions, conditioning, and cultural downloads had me in chains. (see Underpinnings of Faith #1&2)

5. Then it hit me that along with knowing, certainty is nothing more than a story in my head. We are humans, not gods. We don't get to be certain about anything except that everything changes constantly. There is no permanence. Everything is temporal. And if I think that I know or that I am certain or that I am permanent, then I am playing God or just an idiot. (see Underpinnings of Faith #1&2)

6. This then made me begin to question the foundational things of my faith: one of them being an inspired, inerrant word of god. Not long after I began to see that, then I realized that the concept of a word of god period is absurd. And when I was then forced to question why we would be told this, the dynamics of power and oppression became clearer and clearer. (See, How Holy is the Holy Book?)

7. External authority is another story in our heads that we tell ourselves. Sometimes it is practical (like government and laws) but not when it comes to the things of life and death that no one can know. (see Underpinning #3) It is only internal authority that can tell me who I am, why I am here, and what I should do about it. There is a Seed of Knowing; an inner seed or light or voice that is always true. Some guy over there is not going to be able to tell me what my life is all about.

8. Once that foundation began to crumble, everything else began to unravel, and kept unraveling until there was nothing left. The nature of language and the identity of words furthered and deepened my understanding. Words are not reality and they never can be. Words and language is designed to simply point to a reality that gives us a point of reference to begin a conversation. Words and language were never designed to end or conclude a conversation with final answers. How can there be a Word of God if words themselves cannot express any sort of reality? Words and language are again stories we tell ourselves. Beliefs are stories we are told, then tell ourselves, then choose to believe. The Macro-Narratives and Micro-Narratives that drive us.

9. Then came the nature and function of thought, of reality and perception, of concepts and illusions, and of fictions and the stories we tell ourselves. The Fictions that Thought Creates

10. The Problem of Language, thought, words. Language is not reality. Language is made up of words and words are not reality. They are signs and symbols that point to reality. These pointers, these words cannot be precise. Their meanings exist in the heads of every person on earth. No two people understand reality the same. No two people describe reality the same. We each have different interpretations. That is human nature.

11. Then my eyes opened to the unseen structures, principalities, and powers that were really running things. The structures of power and oppression, inner and outer authority, being controlled and compliant versus living out our full potential. Oppression, Power,  & Privilege

12. A great eye opener is my understanding of myths per the teaching of Joseph Campbell along with the understanding and influence of conditioning according to Krishnamurti. My Mythic Guideposts

13. Once I turned 60, the scales fell off my eyes and I could see all of the wishful and magical thinking that I had been clinging to. At that point, I was finally ready to say "STOP" "enough!" It was at this point that I could fully let go of dogma. What I experienced profoundly and astonishingly is that I was finally free. No more shackles on my mind or on my conversations with others or in my acceptance and inclusion of others; unconditional love! I was finally free!


Losing my religion was perhaps the most freeing thing that has ever happened to me.


Who'd'a' thought that the total unraveling of my life would result in such incredible freedom?

Living Beyond Religion

What do you do when your religion has been one of the most important things in your life, when your religion is the basis for your family life, social life, intellectual life, the books you read, and the basis for your life long learning? What do you do when you find that your religion is just stories and illusions, that it is empty and meaningless? What do you do when there is nothing left to hang on to?

https://livingwithopenhands2.blogspot.com/2019/09/living-beyond-religion.html

An Old Old Story Based on Crumbling Foundations

There were a bunch of white guys that lived between 1900 and 4000 years ago that wrote the bible. Those guys believed it was evil spirits and false gods that made us sick, made it rain, ruined the crops, caused floods and droughts, earthquakes and tsunamis, caused the stars to fall from the sky; and that the universe revolves around the earth with human beings at the center of the whole created universe. They made up story after story about how things work that we know now are completely false, pure guesses based on the knowledge they had at that time. We can’t know what we don’t know. But for some reason, these stories are still hanging around and people are still believing them, even though they don’t make any sense any more. I’ve always thought that I was building my life on solid rock, but as my eyes are opening, I realize that the foundation I was building on was nothing but sand; shifting, sinking sand. This blog post is meant to be a sort of introduction to three very specific crumbling foundations with lots of documentation and research: 1) Why would God need Hell? 2) A holy book full of inconsistencies, errors, horrible inhumane actions of those that are supposed to be good, is considered inerrant and inspired? 3) The 10 Commandments, a list of non-essential morals, are touted as the greatest moral principles of all time? See the following three links.

https://livingwithopenhands2.blogspot.com/2021/03/an-old-old-story-based-on-crumbling.html 

Heaven and Hell and Other Such Stories

So let me get this straight. This so-called god cannot trust people that he created to choose to believe in himself, their creator, the one that has only two actual attributes that I have been able to ascertain; silence and invisibility. But this god has to resort to tyrannical tactics in order to force people to believe in him by creating a torture chamber the size of 10 earths where people will burn forever. I wonder why he ever bothered to create them. On top of that, people will be sent to eternal torture without informed choice; in other words without ever knowing what their choices were. They are held responsible to know that Jesus died for their sins and need to repent even if they have never heard of Christianity. The reward is going to an eternal worship meeting to appease this god’s need for attention forever.

https://livingwithopenhands2.blogspot.com/2021/03/heaven-and-hell-and-other-such-stories.html

More Highlights of My Deconversion Story

How Holy is the Holy Book?

As I’ve grown up and have come to a greater and deeper understanding of how this world works, I realize the complexity of language and words. Language is made up of words and words are what make up thoughts and images, or maybe thoughts and images make up words. Hmm. But when we don’t understand how that works, we elevate language to a level of idolatry. An example of this is thinking that words are reality and that they can contain the truth of reality. Words can only point toward reality as signs and symbols representing the images and stories in my head. They can never be the reality itself, just like a “tree” or a “table” cannot exist in my head where words originate and exist. So how can there be such a thing as a holy book that is the inspired, inerrant Word of God, when God created this world in such a way that words cannot be reality or truth??? 

https://livingwithopenhands2.blogspot.com/2021/03/how-holy-is-holy-book.html 

The 10 Commandments - the best morality of all time?

How does 10 commandments etched in stone 4000 years ago become the best morality of all time? What did people do for 2000 years before they had these precious commandments were so desperately needed? What happens if we actually read them and try to apply them to today? Why do people insist that America was founded on the 10 commandments? If you read them and actually think about them, you’ll see that only two can be used as a foundation for a country’s laws. And yet they are foolishly displayed in America’s courtrooms as if they are the basis of all our laws. The questions go on and on stemming from these 10 little narrow-minded commandments.

https://livingwithopenhands2.blogspot.com/2021/03/10-commandments.html

The Bedrock of Being

What happens when you devote your life to hand-me-down religion and beliefs, automatic downloads from culture without thought and sense? Then what happens when you realize that if you are determined to understand truth, you must dig and keep on digging, if you were to follow the truth no matter where it leads? I started digging day after day for 15 years, sorting through the trash and treasures that had piled up in my subconscious and conscious mind. The innerwork was grueling, tearing my hands to the bone as my heart broke all the way down. The further I went, the more I could see I needed to keep on going. But then what? What happens when I begin to see a bit of bedrock, the ground of being? What is there? Nothing close to what I was told to believe. This journey is lifelong, so don’t begin unless you have to, unless you are so compelled that you can’t not begin. If you can stay in your cocoon and live with it, then do it.

https://livingwithopenhands2.blogspot.com/2020/11/bedrock-of-being.html 

Philosophical Suicide

One thing I found at the bedrock of my being is that there are no answers, only more questions, more wonder, more intrigue, more mystery. There are no signposts beckoning us to a place that will finally give the answers. Meaning for my life does not come from any external authority. Meaning comes from within. But what does that mean? What am I going to do with this one precious life that I have been given? First we must decide the one true question of life, can I find a reason to live? Or will I choose not to live by turning to philosophical suicide or physical suicide. This is perhaps one of the most profound findings for me that helps me understand my place and my purpose in life; as well as my way forward.

https://livingwithopenhands2.blogspot.com/2020/11/philosophical-suicide.html 

Magical Thinking

When I was a child, I thought like a child. But when I became a man, did I learn that this is not a magical world of fairy tales, Santa Clause, a magical sun that rises every morning and disappears at night, meals that magically appear at just the right time when I am hungry? Eventually, we begin to see that either things are fiction or reality. We can’t explain the fiction but if it is reality, there must be an explanation. We can’t make it magical by just believing it is. Sick people get well due to natural processes with some help from medical scientists. God didn’t donate money for my wonderful cause, people that cared did that. When things happen, there’s no magician in the sky waving something into existence. When I began to discern my own hidden assumptions about life, I had to ask myself if I think that magic is why things happen or do I base my thinking on evidence and on reality.

https://livingwithopenhands2.blogspot.com/2020/08/magical-thinking.html 

The Tyranny of Thought

The Tyranny of the Mind that I refer to here is located in the psychological realm. Keep in mind there are other realms of tyranny (social, cultural, political, educational, religious) that are constantly oppressing us through conditioning, a form of brainwashing. Anything expressed is not real… it is nothing but a perception, a concept conjured up in our minds, then formulated with words that are nothing but signs and symbols that can only point to reality. Our reality is simply a “perception” or an interpretation of the concept or image that our mind creates. Awareness is beyond thought and comes from stillness. This is where truth lies.

Don’t believe everything you think. “Thought creates the world and then says, ‘I didn’t do it!’”

https://livingwithopenhands2.blogspot.com/2020/08/the-tyranny-of-thought.html

On Prayer

What is prayer beside talking to myself?

It seems to me that whether or not my faith in God is ever restored, prayer just keeps on. I keep right on talking to myself as if there is someone else listening. It seems to me to be a basic human trait... talking to myself and/or an imaginary friend. What is this thing called prayer if there is nobody home? When the only two verifiable attributes of the guy in the sky is silence and invisibility, what is prayer?

https://livingwithopenhands2.blogspot.com/2020/08/on-prayer.html  

Behold Thy God

For those that have not really read the bible, or if they have, those that don’t really believe what it says, what is this buffer, this defense, that filters out what I’m not supposed to notice? Well, here is a straight-up look at what god says about himself directly from his own Word of God.

These attributes of God are not made up or derived from historical teachings. 

“The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction; jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving, control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.”

—Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion

The following is a self-description of the attributes of God directly from God himself through the inspired, inerrant, holy Word of God.

https://livingwithopenhands2.blogspot.com/2021/04/behold-thy-god.html 

This is the tip of the iceberg after my innerwork of 15 years.  I began by blogging the questions and doubts that had been gnawing at me in my first blog. During that time, I was still looking at the world through a Christian framework but it was a process of casting off the dogma and assumptions and conditioning that I was becoming more and more aware of. In my second blog, I felt a need to not only deconstruct my faith and sort it out but to move beyond that to deconstructing my whole world and life view. For the past two years I’ve been writing about the crumbling foundations of the Christian framework that was holding me back from seeing and following the truth wherever it may lead. Dogma is perhaps the greatest oppressor of freedom.

Recently, I felt a need to start the third iteration of Living With Open Hands that expressed my social and political outworkings that are a reflection of my innerwork. Sometimes politics are just as divisive as religion so it feels more coherent to separate the innerwork from the outer expressions. I waited for over a year to begin writing blog number two because I knew that in order to be true to myself, I would need to write but with my first blog I have many followers that are ardent Christians and I just am not ready to have people trying to save my soul or arguing about the truth I am discovering. The reality is quite the opposite except that I have no compulsion to save anyone from their beliefs. I think maybe some people need those beliefs. Sometimes we need the deeper truths mediated to us in order for it not to be too hard to understand meaning and purpose in life (see Mediated versus Unmediated Living). The original blog is actually in WordPress: https://ronirvine.wordpress.com/    where I have gotten over 78,000 hits from 150 countries. This is still quite surprising since I did not start a blog in order to put it out there, I just needed a place where I can archive them and return to them as a sort of working journal of my inner journey. Besides, I’ve always liked typing much more than handwriting like in a diary. Each post is really a reminder to me of what I have forgotten or what I need to not forget. And I never cease to return to these posts so that I can remember those points of inevitable change and paradigm shifts. So easily we forget what we already know.

• Living With Open Hands 1.0 (My Awakening)

• Living with Open Hands 2.0 (My Philosophical Evolution)

• Living With Open Hands 3.0 (Political Ramifications)

• Living With Open Hands 4.0 (Resonant Voices)

CBS Documentary: Deconstructing my Religion (#xvangelical)

 

Behold Thy God

 Behold Thy God: the most unpleasant character in all fiction

These attributes of God are not made up or derived from historical teachings, they come directly from the mouth of god and recorded in the word of god, that is, the Holy Bible. 

“The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction; jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving, control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.”

—Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion

Interestingly, and outrageously, the god of the Bible will not come near to those with disabilities or any deformities. Leviticus 21:18-22

¹⁸ No man who has any defect may come near: no man who is blind or lame, disfigured or deformed; ¹⁹ no man with a crippled foot or hand, ²⁰ or who is a hunchback or a dwarf, or who has any eye defect, or who has festering or running sores or damaged testicles. ²¹ No descendant of Aaron the priest who has any defect is to come near to present the food offerings to the Lord. He has a defect; he must not come near to offer the food of his God. ²² He may eat the most holy food of his God, as well as the holy food"

George Carlin: invisible man living in the sky. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8k6OqYtGsK/?igsh=MTh5NzBkNGtrd2NwNQ==

These are a "self-description" of the attributes of God directly from God himself through the inspired, inerrant, holy Word of God. None of these descriptions can be rationalized away, blamed, or excused. If this is your view of the bible, then this is your never changing god.

Keep in mind that this is supposedly direct revelation from God, although the only attributes of God that we know for sure is his silence and his invisibility. At no time has he ever graced us with his presence, at least not that we can reliably verify. Instead we are taught to imagine his presence, like an imaginary friend in the sky, but instead it is fake, an image of god in your head.

In the first sentence of chapter 2 of The God Delusion, biologist Richard Dawkins calls the biblical god “the most unpleasant character in all fiction.” That sentence has prompted more criticism than anything else he has written. To document his claim, Richard asked former minister Dan Barker to provide a list of biblical passages for each of the characteristics in that sentence. The result is the book GOD: The Most Unpleasant Character in All Fiction. Part 1, “Dawkins Was Right,” contains a chapter for each of those 19 descriptors.

In Part 2, “Dawkins Was Too Kind,” Barker adds another eight characteristics based on god's word: pyromaniacal, angry, merciless, curse-hurling, vaccicidal, aborticidal, cannibalistic and slavemonger. And to this Unpleasant Companion, he adds homicidal, evil, and terrorist. The book has an online companion that is free. https://unpleasantgod.ffrf.org/

I started seriously studying the bible when I was in high school. Recently, my brother said to me that the one thing that impressed him about me is that anyone that would come home from working second shift and study the bible until 3 am while in high school must be alright. He was 5 years younger than me. I was his big brother. And that is the one thing that stood out for him. Back then and even 15 years ago, I would have been very proud of that statement. But now I wonder why I did not spend that time connecting with my little brother. We shared a bedroom and we got along fine. But I don’t remember really knowing him as a person. It saddens me. I studied the bible throughout high school on my own and by going to church and going to weekly bible studies for high schoolers taught by my 80 year old grandmother in her home, a highly respected Christian in our small town. She also taught piano lessons after having been a teacher in a one-room school house for many years. But again, outside of being a teacher of bible and piano, I felt like I never really knew her as a person. I was very fond of her and she was very loving and caring and kind to me. But who was she? Now I wonder if my intense studying of the bible was a way for me to avoid indepth relationships with people. This pattern continued as with my excuse for not socializing with my excuse not only theology and bible studies but growing to the point of me being the only underclassman to be allowed to take the Greek Language, New Testament Greek at that. There was definitely some ego-feeding and social avoidance going on there. Not really a Christian thing. Just a facade although I was sincere in my beliefs.

Back to the point I’m making about me and the bible, I went to a bible college and got a degree in religion (with as many classes in bible as possible) with a Greek and Bible minor. I taught home bible studies to college students, I was a church youth leader, a deacon, worship leader, and on and on. Now I see that all of the study I did of the bible went through a very strong filter, the bible is inerrant and so it cannot be wrong. Any discrepancy must be reconcilable and therefore I must find a way for it to be reconciled. And if it cannot be wrong, then questioning it is not only pointless but it is a sin, a lack of faith, it ran counter to my whole life. It was my fault, which was a perfect blinder for me to not see what the bible really said. It was me that didn't know enough to defend my faith and the inerrancy of my bible. So what I needed to do was to buy more books ABOUT the bible so that I could read more and more about that faith of others and their knowlege about the inerrancy of the bible. But NEVER did I find anything written in the bible about its own inerrancy. And even if I did, then I realized that this is circular reasoning. The bible is the inerrant and inspired word of god because the bible told me so??? I went to a bible college and took bible and greek for four years and never did get any real answers. But somehow I could not see how deceived I was.

So when I read the bible directly now with my eyes open, without dogma, filters, and preconceived ideas, it is a whole new book from which I had been brainwashed to believe all my life. This change began about 15 years ago. Much of this blog is about that. I’ve been deconstructing my deconversion and then reconstructing my worldview. I can no longer unsee the things that I can now see.

Here is the first thing that stood out to me when I first started to listen to the author above and look at the bible from this fresh perspective. And at the same time, I first started listening to the author(s) of the bible and taking them at face value without filtering them through my reality-blocking lens of inerrancy and inspiration. What were these men (or gods) really saying???

"If gods do evil then they are not gods." —Euripides (c.480-406 BCE), Greek playwright

Before I start with a sample list from The God Delusion, I wanted to note that additionally in the last Endnote is a list of God's killings directly from the bible compiled from a book called Drunk with Blood; a very staggering list!

God is not pro life! He is aborticidal (pro-abortion).

Hosea 9:11–16

God is not pro-life: Ephraim’s glory will fly away like a bird—no birth, no pregnancy, no conception. Even if they rear children, I will bereave them of every one. . . . But Ephraim will bring out their children to the slayer. Give them, Lord—what will you give them? Give them wombs that miscarry and breasts that are dry. . . . I will no longer love them . . . Even if they bear children, I will slay their cherished offspring.

Psalm 137:9

Blessed shall he be who takes your little ones and adashes them against the rock!

Numbers 5:21–22

May the Lord cause you to become a curse among your people when he makes your womb miscarry and your abdomen swell. May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells or your womb miscarries.

 

A Primary Excuse that Stops Straight Talk about the Bible

I can hear my old, blinded, brainwashed self reacting defensively to each of the points in the bible with the argument that the whole purpose of Jesus coming is to set us free from the law of the Old Testament, the old covenant between God and man, to the new covenant. So we can’t base our ideas of God on the Old Testament. It must be based on Jesus’ teachings in the new testament. We proudly bragged that we believe in dispensational theology as opposed to covenant theology. Nice words. No real meaning for me. Basically, as I see it, these are frameworks used to interpret the bible to mitigate and mediate the discrepancies in the bible about doctrines like the character and attributes of God. Covenant theology says that we can only understand the Old Testament through the revelations of the New Testament and Jesus teaching. Whereas dispensational theology has different interpretations and ways of understanding each era of Christian / Jewish history. Even though I was raised under dispensationalism and majored in it in college, I never really understood it. Both of these systems seem to me to be justifications for contradictions throughout the bible.

 

Now that I have cast off all man-made systems of belief, I can actually question things and truly seek an answer, instead of the defensiveness of justification through the bias of theology. No more trying to fit things into what I have been taught all my life. Here are my thoughts now:

1. Jesus never said that the Old Testament is null and void. Therefore he still is basing his teachings on the Old Testament. He actually said that “I have not come to abolish the (OT) law but to fulfill it.” Here is the context in the Sermon on the Mount:

Matthew 5:16 In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. 17 Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets. I have not come to abolish them, but to fulfill them. 18 For I tell you truly, until heaven and earth pass away, not a single jot, not a stroke of a pen, will disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished.…

Apparently, Jesus sees all of the Old Testament as valid and believable. 

2. Instead of apologizing for his father in heaven, he kept embracing God as his father: John 1:1-3: In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God. John 8:28: So Jesus said, "When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. John 10:30: I and the Father are one. John 10:38: The father is in me and I am in the Father.  John 14:9-10: Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. Don't you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work.

3. For another teaching in the bible is that God never changes (see Endnote).

God is Vindictive and Vengeful, full of Revenge and Vengeance, Anger and Rage

As humans living in a civil and civilized society, we seek justice, knowing that vigilante justice is against the law. What is this rage and anger? He is God and we are simply humans. How and why do we trigger him so? Sounds like a puny, small-minded bully. I was raised much different than this. I was taught to handle my anger and rage in healthy ways. This was pre-school and elementary school teachings; at least that when I learned it. Acting it out is not decent or socially acceptable. This brings to mind a heaven full of gods roaring at each other because of their creation that he supposedly created and said, “it is good.” To me, this sounds also like a spoiled child that didn’t get his way. If he created us with free will and meant for us to use it, then why does he take it personally when their will is different from his will. When my child chooses things that I disagree with, it would be against the law to beat him to death. And I'd be a bad father to control and force my child to be like me.

Zephaniah 3:8

The whole world will be consumed by the fire of my jealous anger.

Deuteronomy 32:22

For a fire is kindled by my anger, and burns to the depths of Sheol.

Isaiah 63:3

I trampled them in my anger and trod them down in my wrath; their blood spattered my garments.

Isaiah 47:3

I will take vengeance, and I will spare no man.

Deuteronomy 32:35

The Lord says, . . . "I will take revenge; I will pay them back. In due time their feet will slip. Their day of disaster will arrive, and their destiny will overtake them."

Deuteronomy 32:41–42

See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god beside me. . . . [I]f I whet my glittering sword, and my hand takes hold on judgment, I will take vengeance on my adversaries, and will requite those who hate me.

Psalm 137:8–9

O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us. Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

Deuteronomy 32:43

Rejoice, you nations, with his people, for he will avenge the blood of his servants; he will take vengeance on his enemies and make atonement.

Jeremiah 50:15

For this is the vengeance of the Lord: take vengeance on her, do to her as she has done.

Ezekiel 25:14–17

And I will lay my vengeance upon Edom by the hand of my people Israel; and they shall do in Edom according to my anger and according to my wrath; and they shall know my vengeance, says the Lord God. . . . I will execute great vengeance upon them with wrathful chastisements. Then they will know that I am the Lord, when I lay my vengeance upon them.

God Promises to Punish Innocent Children

Not only does God punish us but he also promises to punish our children, grand children, great grand children, and great great grand children. 

 

I don’t know about you but that makes me furious that anyone would threaten my children!!! What an example of morality to his creation! This literally makes me sick to my stomach. 

 

Deuteronomy 5:

8 “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 9 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 10 but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.

 

God is not only jealous, but he is proud of it as if that is a good character attribute. THEN he promises to punish children that have not sinned and brags about that also. I would think that if someone, anyone, had these sorts of thoughts and threatens to carry them out, it probably should not be advertised. Most humans know better. But not God! He publishes them as part of the 10 commandments with his words etched in stone and passed down through the ages in the holy, inspired, inerrant Word of God to let all of history know this about him.

 

So I guess this is one way to provide informed choice so that people know what kind of highly abusive relationship they are really getting into. But wouldn't you think that people that choose to follow such a character would be the ones that deserve to go to hell. God's justice is extremely backward.

God is Infanticidal

Hosea 13:16

Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up.

Isaiah 13:11–18
I will punish the world for its evil. . . . Whoever is found will be thrust through, and whoever is caught will fall by the sword. Their infants will be dashed in pieces before their eyes.

Psalm 137:8–9
O daughter Babylon, you devastator! Happy shall they be who pay you back what you have done to us! Happy shall they be who take your little ones and dash them against the rock! 

Exodus 12:29

And it came to pass, that at midnight the Lord smote all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, from the firstborn of Pharaoh that sat on his throne unto the firstborn of the captive that was in the dungeon; and all the firstborn of cattle.

Jeremiah 19:3–9

Thus saith the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel; Behold, I will bring evil upon this place . . . And I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters.

Deuteronomy 28:53

And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters, which the Lord thy God hath given thee.

Leviticus 26:21–22

And if ye walk contrary unto me . . . I will also send wild beasts among you, which shall rob you of your children.

God is Jealous and Proud of it.

Jealousy generally indicates a lack of self esteem and a vast neediness that cannot be filled. It is never about the object of the jealousy. It is always about the jealous person, or in this case, an immature god.

Psalm 78:58

For they provoked him to anger with their high places, and moved him to jealousy with their graven images.

Deuteronomy 29:20

The Lord will not spare him, but then the anger of the Lord and his jealousy shall smoke against that man, and all the curses that are written in this book shall lie upon him, and the Lord shall blot out his name from under heaven.

Zechariah 8:2

Thus saith the Lord of hosts; I was jealous for Zion with great jealousy, and I was jealous for her with great fury.

For us humans, jealousy is not something we brag about but rather something that we outgrow as we mature. Or we get therapy, admitting how unhealthy it is for us and for those around us.

God is an Ethnic Cleanser

1 Samuel 15:3

Go and attack Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have; do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.

Deuteronomy 13:12–16

You shall surely put the inhabitants of that city to the sword, destroying it utterly, all who are in it and its cattle, with the edge of the sword. You shall gather all its spoil into the midst of its open square, and burn the city and all its spoil with fire, as a whole burnt offering to the Lord your God; it shall be a heap for ever, it shall not be built again.

Numbers 21:2–3

And Israel vowed a vow to the Lord, and said, "If thou wilt indeed give this people into my hand, then I will utterly destroy their cities." And the Lord hearkened to the voice of Israel, and gave over the Canaanites; and they utterly destroyed them and their cities.

God is a vengeful rapist

Because you have forgotten me, this is what I owe to you: sexual assault. Even if people justify God’s words as metaphorical, what an awful thing to say. Even one of our worst politicians would not get away with it. Also, Jesus said that we can sin with our thoughts, so if a person commits adultery in his mind, he is guilty of the actual physical act. God not only visualized rape in his mind, he also spoke it against his creation and included it as part of the bible. This sexual assault is rape.

Jeremiah 13

25 

This is your lot,

    the portion I have measured out to you, says the Lord,

because you have forgotten me

    and trusted in lies.

26 

I myself will lift up your skirts over your face,

    and your shame will be seen.

27 

I have seen your abominations,

    your adulteries and neighings, your lewd harlotries,

    on the hills in the field.

Woe to you, O Jerusalem!

    How long will it be

    before you are made clean?”

God is a Racist

Deuteronomy 7:6

The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on earth to be his people, his treasured possession.

Deuteronomy 7:1–6

When the Lord your God brings you into the land that you are about to enter and occupy . . . Do not intermarry with them.

Nehemiah 13:23–30

Ye shall not give your daughters unto their sons, nor take their daughters unto your sons, or for yourselves. . . . Shall we then hearken unto you to do all this great evil, to transgress against our God in marrying strange wives? . . . Thus cleansed I them from all strangers.

Leviticus 25:44–46

As for your male and female slaves whom you may have: you may buy male and female slaves from among the nations that are round about you. You may also buy from among the aliens who sojourn with you and their families that are with you, who have been born in your land; and they may be your property. You may bequeath them to your sons after you, to inherit as a possession for ever; you may make slaves of them, but over your brethren the people of Israel you shall not rule, one over another, with harshness.

God is a Slavemonger

Human beings are so immersed in their culture that following practices like slavery is almost a forgone conclusion until there is a cultural awakening. But god is supposed to be the law creator, moral perfection for all to see and follow but did he not understand that which is known to all modern mankind? That slavery must be abolished. 

What does this say about 

his omniscience, his omnipotence, his omnibenevolence???

Leviticus 25:44–46

Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves . . . and they will become your property. You can . . . make them slaves for life.

Exodus 21:20–21

Anyone who beats their slave with a rod must be punished if the slave dies . . . but not if the slave recovers after a day or two, since the slave is their property.

Judges 1:28,30,35

When Israel became strong, they pressed the Canaanites into forced labor but never drove them out completely. . . . Zebulun did subject them to forced labor. . . . When the power of the tribes of Joseph increased, they too were pressed into forced labor.

Exodus 20:9–10

The seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work—you, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns.

Exodus 21:26–27

An owner who hits a male or female slave in the eye and destroys it must let the slave go free to compensate for the eye. And an owner who knocks out the tooth of a male or female slave must let the slave go free to compensate for the tooth.

Exodus 21:2–11

When you buy a Hebrew slave, he shall serve six years, and in the seventh he shall go out free, for nothing. If he comes in single, he shall go out single; if he comes in married, then his wife shall go out with him. If his master gives him a wife and she bears him sons or daughters, the wife and her children shall be her master’s and he shall go out alone. But if the slave plainly says, "I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free," then his master shall bring him to God, and he shall bring him to the door or the doorpost; and his master shall bore his ear through with an awl; and he shall serve him for life. When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she shall not go out as the male slaves do. If she does not please her master, who has designated her for himself, then he shall let her be redeemed; he shall have no right to sell her to a foreign people, since he has dealt faithlessly with her. If he designates her for his son, he shall deal with her as with a daughter. If he takes another wife to himself, he shall not diminish her food, her clothing, or her marital rights. And if he does not do these three things for her, she shall go out for nothing, without payment of money.

God is Capriciously Malevolent

After God destroyed Job’s family and took away all of his possessions. And after God admits He had no reason to do this, then he blames Satan for inciting him against his faithful servant Job.

Job 2:3

The Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man who fears God and turns away from evil. He still persists in his integrity, although you (Satan) incited me against him, to destroy him for no reason."

Isaiah 45:7

I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things.

Job 9:17–18

For he [God] crushes me with a tempest, and multiplies my wounds without cause; he will not let me get my breath, but fills me with bitterness.

Job 6:4

Terrorist: For the arrows of the Almighty are in me; my spirit drinks their poison; the terrors of God are arrayed against me.

Job 23:16

Terrorist: God has made my heart faint; the Almighty has terrified me.

God is very unhappy and constantly angry. 

Here are examples of how God’s destructive rage is consuming him.

The only human being that I can think of that can get away with this level of constant rage is Donald Trump. The rest are all in prison because it is not healthy to let them loose on society.

Isaiah

63:3

I trampled them in my anger and trod them down in my wrath; their blood spattered my garments.

Deuteronomy 29:18–20

The Lord will not spare him, but then the anger of the Lord and his jealousy shall smoke against that man.

Deuteronomy 6:14–15

Ye shall not go after other gods, of the gods of the people which are round about you; (For the Lord thy God is a jealous God among you) lest the anger of the Lord thy God be kindled against thee, and destroy thee from off the face of the earth.

1 Kings 14:9–10

But hast done evil above all that were before thee: for thou hast gone and made thee other gods, and molten images, to provoke me to anger, and hast cast me behind thy back.

As a child we learn to mature past the point that we can be provoked to anything. “Provoke” is a way of blaming others for behaviors that are your responsibility. It is a cop out. Emotionally impaired kids that I worked with for 20 years were so full of rage that they were constantly provoking others to anger. Those that did not learn how to control their anger ended up in more and more restrictive settings and eventually prison.

Why is this so-called God so easily provoked??? Is god a victim that is dominated and oppressed? How can an omnipotent god be provoked???

I wonder if Zeus was so easily provoked.

Jeremiah 44:3

Because of their wickedness which they have committed to provoke me to anger, in that they went to burn incense, and to serve other gods, whom they knew not.

Jeremiah 44:7–8

In that ye provoke me unto wrath with the works of your hands, burning incense unto other gods in the land of Egypt, whither ye be gone to dwell?

 

2 Chronicles 34:25

Because they have forsaken me, and have burned incense unto other gods, that they might provoke me to anger with all the works of their hands; therefore my wrath shall be poured out upon this place, and shall not be quenched.

 

2 Kings 22:17

Because they have forsaken me, and have burned incense unto other gods, that they might provoke me to anger with all the works of their hands; therefore my wrath shall be kindled against this place, and shall not be quenched.

2 Chronicles 28:25

And in every several cities of Judah he made high places to burn incense unto other gods, and provoked to anger the Lord God of his fathers.

Psalm 78:58–59

For they provoked him to anger with their high places, and moved him to jealousy with their graven images. When God heard this, he was wroth, and greatly abhorred Israel.

Ezekiel 38:19

For in my jealousy and in my blazing wrath I declare, On that day there shall be a great shaking in the land of Israel.

Get the point? I’m tired. But feel free to check out over 200 more references to how easily provokable the God of the universe is by clicking here: https://unpleasantgod.ffrf.org/#/categories/22 

Truly an Easily Provokable God with Blazing Wrath and Jealousy … and proud of it?

For over 1500 more verses describing all of the attributes listed at the beginning of this blog post, please go here: https://unpleasantgod.ffrf.org/ 

Endnote

1. God Never Changes

This is supposed to be reassuring to believers, but leaves us hanging when it comes to trying to justify the things the bible says about god; i.e. the things god says about god:

Hebrews 13:8 ESV

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Malachi 3:6 ESV

“For I the Lord do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed.

Isaiah 40:8 ESV

The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.

Numbers 23:19 ESV

God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?

James 1:17 ESV

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Psalm 119:89 ESV

Forever, O Lord, your word is firmly fixed in the heavens.

Psalm 102:27 ESV

But you are the same, and your years have no end.

Psalm 33:11 ESV

The counsel of the Lord stands forever, the plans of his heart to all generations.

1 Samuel 15:29 ESV

And also the Glory of Israel will not lie or have regret, for he is not a man, that he should have regret.”

Revelation 1:8 ESV

“I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty.”

Exodus 3:14 ESV

God said to Moses, “I am who I am.” And he said, “Say this to the people of Israel, ‘I am has sent me to you.’”

These last two verses refer to the names of God that refer to his unchangeable, everlasting nature. 

The Alpha and the Omega refers to the first and last letters of the Hebrew alphabet meaning the Beginning and the End of all things.

YHWH or Yahweh, which refers to God's being.

I am that I am, or

I will (always) be what I will be, or

I have always been what I am, or

I cause to be what I cause to be, or

"'I Am' is who I am", or 

"I am because I am"

In other words, his name reminds us that he is, he was, and he always will be; forever without change or variation.

How scary is that??? if it were true...

Again, as I have been saying throughout this blog, this sounds a lot like a god that mankind wants and has created in his own image filling in the gaps where we as humans fall short. The problem is that the bible apparently had no facilitator to make sure that the message is consistent throughout the 4000 years it took to write it.

2. Drunk with Blood

How many has God killed? Complete list and estimated total (Including Apocryphal killings)

Drunk With Blood Audiobook: Introduction

I kill ... I wound ... I will make my arrows drunk with blood, and mine sword shall devour flesh. -- Deuteronomy 32:39-42

The table shows two numbers: the number given by the Bible, if any, and an estimate, when no biblical number is available.

Total number killed by God in the Bible
- Using biblical numbers only: 2,821,364
 - With estimates: 25 million

(The table has been updated to include God's killings in the Apocrypha/Deuterocanonical books. I'll be adding the missing Apocryphal stories in the next few days.)

Killing Event		Reference	Bible's Number	Estimate
1	The Flood of Noah	Gen 7:23		20,000,000
2	Abraham's war to rescue Lot	Gen 14:17-19		1,000
3	Sodom and Gomorrah	Gen 19:24		2,000
4	Lot's wife	Gen 19:26	1	1
5	While they were sore, Dinah's brethren slew all the males	Gen 34:1-31, Judith 9:2-3	2	1,000
6	Er for being wicked in the sight of the Lord	Gen 38:7	1	1
7	Onan for spilling his seed	Gen 38:10	1	1
8	A seven year worldwide famine	Gen 41:25-54		70,000
9	There will be blood: The first plague of Egypt	Ex 7:15-27 , Wis 11:7-8		10,000
10	The seventh plague: hail	Ex 9:25		300,000
11	Firstborn Egyptian children	Ex 12:29-30		500,000
12	The Lord took off their chariot wheels	Ex 14:8-26	600	5,000
13	Amalekites	Ex 17:13		1,000
14	Who is on the Lord's side?: Forcing friends and family to kill each other	Ex 32:27-28	3,000	3,000
15	Aaron's golden calf	Ex 32:35		1,000
16	God burns Aaron's sons to death for offering "strange fire"	Lev 10:1-3	2	2
17	A blasphemer is stoned to death	Lev 24:10-23	1	1
18	When the people complained, God burned them to death	Num 11:1		100
19	While the flesh was still between their teeth, the Lord smote them will a very great plague	Num 11:33		10,000
20	Ten scouts are killed for their honest report	Num 14:35-45	10	110
21	A man gathering sticks on the Sabbath day is stoned to death	Num 15:32-35	1	1
22	Korah, his companions, and their families are buried alive	Num 16:27	3	9
23	God burns 250 people to death for burning incense	Num 16:35	250	250
24	God kills 14,700 for complaining about God's killings	Num 16:49	14,700	14,700
25	The massacre of the Aradies	Num 21:1-2		3,000
26	God sent serpents to bite people for complaining about the lack of food and water	Num 21:6		100
27	Phineas's double murder: A killing to end God's killing	Num 25:1-11	24,002	24,002
28	The Midianite massacre: Have ye saved all the women alive?	Num 31:1-35	6	200,000
29	God slowly killed the Israelite army	Dt 2:14-16		500,000
30	God the giant killer	Dt 2:21-22		5,000
31	God hardens King Sihon's heart so all his people can be killed	Dt 2:33-34	1	5,000
32	Og and all the men women, and children in 60 cities	Dt 3:6	1	60,000
33	The Jericho massacre	Jos 6:21		1,000
34	Achan and his family	Jos 7:10-26	1	5
35	The Ai massacre	Jos 8:1-25	12,000	12,000
36	God stops the sun so Joshua can get his killing done in the daylight	Jos 10:10-11		5,000
37	Five kings killed and hung on trees	Jos 10:26	5	10,000
38	Joshua utterly destroyed all that breathed as the Lord commanded	Jos 10:28-42	7	7,000
39	The genocide of twenty cities: There was not any left to breathe	Jos 11:8-12	2	20,000
40	The Anakim: some more giant killing	Jos 11:20-21		5,000
41	The Lord delivered the Canaanites and Perizzites	Jg 1:4	10,000	10,000
42	The Jerusalem massacre	Jg 1:8		1,000
43	Five massacres, a wedding, and God-proof iron chariots	Jg 1:9-25		5,000
44	The Lord delivered Chushanrishathaim	Jg 3:7-10	1	1,000
45	Ehud delivers a message from God	Jg 3:15-22	1	1
46	God delivers 10,000 lusty Moabites	Jg 3:28-29	10,000	10,000
47	Shamgar killed 600 Philistines with an ox goad	Jg 3:31	600	600
48	Barak and God massacre the Canaanites	Jg 4:15-16		1,000
49	Jael pounds a tent stake through a sleeping man's skull	Jg 4:18-22	1	1
50	Gideon's story: The Lord set every man's sword against his fellow	Jg 7:22	120,000	120,000
51	A city is massacred and 1000 burn to death because of God's evil spirit	Jg 9:23-27	1,001	2,000
52	The Ammonite massacre	Jg 11:32-33		20,000
53	Jephthah's daughter	Jg 11:39	1	1
54	42,000 die for failing the "shibboleth" test	Jg 12:4-7	42,000	42,000
55	Samson murdered 30 men for their clothes	Jg 14:19	30	30
56	Samson killed 1000 men with the jawbone of an ass	Jg 15:14-15	1,000	1,000
57	Samson killed 3000 in a suicide terrorist attack	Jg 16:27-30	3,000	3,000
58	A holy civil war (it had something to do with rotting concubine body part messages)	Jg 20:35-37	65,100	65,100
59	The end of Judges: two genocides and 200 stolen virgins	Jg 21:10-14		4,000
60	God killed Eli's sons and 34,000 Israelite soldiers	1 Sam 2:25, 4:11	34,002	34,002
61	God smote them with hemorrhoids in their secret parts	1 Sam 5:1-12		3,000
62	50,070 killed for looking into the ark of the Lord	1 Sam 6:19	50,070	50,070
63	The Lord thundered a great thunder upon the Philistines	1 Sam 7:10-11		1,000
64	Another Ammonite massacre (and another God-inspired body part message)	1 Sam 11:6-13		1,000
65	Jonathan's first slaughter	1 Sam 14:12-14	20	20
66	God forces the Philistines to kill each other	1 Sam 14:20		1,000
67	The Amalekite genocide	1 Sam  15:2-3		10,000
68	Samuel hacks Agag to death before the Lord	1 Sam 15:32-33	1	1
69	In the valley of Elah: Goliath	1 Sam 17:51, 2 Sam 21:19	1	1
70	David buys a wife with 200 Philistine foreskins	1 Sam  18:27	200	200
71	The Lord said to David, Go and smite the Philistines	1 Sam 23:2-5		10,000
72	God killed Nabal (and David got his wife and other stuff)	1 Sam 25:38	1	1
73	David commits random acts of genocide for the Philistines	1 Sam 27:8-11		60,000
74	David spends the day killing Amalekites	1 Sam 30:17		1,000
75	God kills Saul, his sons, and his soldiers (because Saul didn't kill all the Amalekites)	1 Sam 31:2, 2 Chr 10:6	4	100
76	David kills the messenger	2 Sam 1:15	1	1
77	David killed, mutilated, and hung Rechab and Baanah	2 Sam 4:12	2	2
78	God helps David smite the Philistines from the front and the rear	2 Sam 5:19-25		2,000
79	God killed Uzzah for trying to keep the ark from falling	2 Sam 6:6-7, 1 Chr 13:9-10	1	1
80	David killed two-thirds of the Moabite POWs and enslaved the rest	2 Sam 8:2		667
81	And the Lord gave David victory wherever he went	2 Sam 8 - 10	65,850	66,850
82	David killed every male in Edom	2 Sam 8:13-14, 1 Kg 11:15-16, 1 Chr 18:12, Ps 60:1	15,000	25,000
83	Thus did David do to all the children of Ammon	2 Sam 11:1, 1 Chr 20:1		1,000
84	God slowly kills a baby	2 Sam 12:14-18	1	1
85	Seven sons of Saul are hung up before the Lord	2 Sam 21:1-9	7	3,000
86	David's mighty men and their amazing killings	2 Sam 23, 1 Chr 11	1,403	3,400
87	God killed 70,000 because of David had a census that God (or Satan) told him to do	2 Sam 24:15, 1 Chr 21:14	70,000	200,000
88	Solomon murdered Job and Shimei (per David's deathbed wish)	1 Kg 2:29-46	2	2
89	A tale of two prophets	1 Kg 13:11-24	1	1
90	Jeroboam's son: God kills another child	1 Kg 14:17	1	1
91	Jeroboam's family	1 Kg 15:29		10
92	Baasha's family and friends	1 Kg 16:11-12		20
93	Zimri burns to death	1 Kg 16:18-19	1	1
94	The drought of Elijah	1 Kg 17:1, Luke 4:25, James 5:17-18		3,000
95	Elijah kills 450 religious leaders in a prayer contest	1 Kg 18:22-40	450	450
96	The first God-assisted slaughter of the Syrians	1 Kg 20:20-21		10,000
97	God killed 100,000 Syrians for calling him a god of the hills	1 Kg 20:28-29	100,000	100,000
98	God killed 27,000 Syrians by making a wall fall on them	1 Kg 20:30	27,000	27,000
99	God sent a lion to kill a man for not smiting a prophet	1 Kg 20:35-36	1	1
100	God killed Ahab for not killing a captured king	1 Kg 20:42, 22:35	1	1
101	God burned 102 men to death for asking Elijah to come down from his hill	2 Kg 1:10-12	102	102
102	God killed Ahaziah for asking the wrong God	2 Kg 1:16-17, 2 Chr 22:7-9	1	1
103	God sent bears to kill 42 boys for making fun of a prophet's bald head	2 Kg 2:23-24	42	42
104	The Lord delivered the Moabites	2 Kg 3:18-25		5,000
105	A skeptic is trampled to death	2 Kg 7:2-20	1	1
106	God's seven year famine	2 Kg 8:1		7,000
107	Jehoram of Israel	2 Kg 9:24	1	1
108	Jezebel	2 Kg 9:33-37	1	1
109	Ahab's sons: 70 heads in two baskets	2 Kg 10:6-10	70	70
110	Ahab's hometown family, friends, and priests	2 Kg 10:11		20
111	Jehu killed Ahaziah's family	2 Kg 10:12-13, 2 Chr 22:7-9	42	42
112	Jehu and his partner kill the rest of Ahab's family	2 Kg 10:17		20
113	Jehu assembled the followers of Baal and then slaughtered them all	2 Kg 10:18-25		1,000
114	Mattan the priest of Baal and Queen Athaliah	2 Kg 11:17-20	2	2
115	God sent lions to eat those who didn't fear him enough	2 Kg 17:25-26		10
116	An angel killed 185,000 sleeping soldiers	2 Kg 19:34, 37:36	185,000	185,000
117	God caused King Sennacherib to be killed by his sons	2 Kg 19:37, Tobit 1:21	1	1
118	Josiah killed all the priests of the high places	2 Kg 23:20		100
119	Just another holy war	1 Chr 5:18-22		50,000
120	God killed a half million Israelite soldiers	2 Chr 13:17-18	500,000	500,000
121	Jeroboam	2 Chr 13:20	1	1
122	God killed a million Ethiopians	2 Chr 14:9-14	1,000,000	1,000,000
123	Friendly fire: God forced "a great multitude" to kill each other	2 Chr 20:22-25		30,000
124	God made Jehoram's bowels fall out	2 Chr 21:14-19	1	1
125	God killed Jehoram's sons	2 Chr 22:1		3
126	Ahaziah of Judah	2 Chr 22:7-8	1	1
127	Joash, the princes, and army of Judah	2 Chr 24:20-25	1	10,000
128	God destroyed Amaziah	2 Chr 25:15-27	1	1,000
129	God smote Ahaz with the king of Syria	2 Chr 28:1-5	1	10,000
130	God killed 120,000 valiant men for forsaking him	2 Chr 28:6	120,000	120,000
131	The fall of Jerusalem	2 Chr 36:16-17		10,000
132	The Purim killings: God hath done these things	Esther 2 - 9, 10:4	75,813	75,813
133	God and Satan kill Job's children and slaves	Job 1:18-19	10	60
134	Hananiah	Jer 28:15-16	1	1
135	Ezekiel's wife	Ezek 24:15-18	1	1
136	Oh! Susanna	Dan 13:6-62	2	2
137	Judith is blessed above all women (for cutting off a sleeping man's head)	Judith 13:6-10	1	1
138	The Judith massacre: hang ye up this head upon our walls	Judith 15:1-6		1,000
139	Mathathias's double murder	1 Mac 2:24-25	2	2
140	Mathathias and his friends slay the wicked sinners	1 Mac 2:44		100
141	God killed Andronicus, the sacrilegious wretch	2 Mac 4:38	1	1
142	A Jewish mob killed Lysimachus, the sacrilegious fellow	2 Mac 4:42	1	1
143	God helped Judas Machabeus destroy the wicked	1 Mac 3:1-26, 2 Mac 8:5-6	800	4,900
144	Judas and his unarmed men kill 3000 of Gorgias's soldiers	1 Mac 3:44-4:24	3,000	3,000
145	The Hanukkah killings	1 Mac 4:34-5:7	5,000	17,000
146	The Machabees brothers slaughter the heathens	1 Mac 5:21-51	11,000	37,000
147	Nicanor's army: The Almighty being their helper, they slew above nine thousand men	1 Mac 7:32-47, 2 Mac 8:24, 15:27	147,002	147,002
148	Jonathan and Simon destroy the wicked out of Israel	1 Mac  9:46-49, 2 Mac  8:30-33, 10:61	1,000	1,200
149	Five heavenly horsemen cast darts and fireballs at the enemy	2 Mac 8:32-10:38	21,103	21,400
150	God killed Antiochus with an incurable bowel disease	2 Mac 9:5-28	1	1
151	Idumeans, traitors, and Jews in two towers	2 Mac 10:16-17	40,000	40,100
152	Nicanor's head: A manifest sign of the help of God	1 Mac 7:33-48, 2 Mac  15:1-35	35,000	35,000
153	Aliens at Cades	1 Mac 11:74	3,000	3,000
154	John burns to death 2000 in the tower of Azotus	1 Mac 16:10	2,000	2,000
155	God sent wasps to slowly destroy people	Wisdom 12:8-9		1,000
156	Ananias and Sapphira	Acts 5:5-10	2	2
157	Herod Aggripa	Acts 12:23	1	1
158	Jesus	Rom 8:32, 1 Pet 1:1820	1	1
	Totals		2,821,364	24,994,828

https://dwindlinginunbelief.blogspot.com/2010/04/drunk-with-blood-gods-killings-in-bible.html

I had never really noticed the phrase "Drunk with Blood" in the bible due to my brainwashed state of seeing the bible through the rose colored glasses, i.e. the lens of inerrancy and inspiration. Therefore the following blog post ended up being a rather shocking find.

Drunk With Blood: It's one of God's favorite expressions

I titled my list of God's killings "Drunk with Blood" for a reason. I think the phrase describes the God of the Bible perfectly.

It's also one of God's favorite expressions. The phrase "drunk with blood" (or variants of it) is used five times in the Bible.

1. God first uses it to describe himself: his arrows are drunk with blood.

   I will make mine arrows drunk with blood, and my sword shall devour flesh. Deuteronomy 32.42

   Now I know that God doesn’t mean this literally. God’s arrows don’t have mouths; they don’t drink blood and they’ve never been drunk on anything. His sword doesn’t eat flesh either. God is being metaphorical here.

   Still, God is trying to make a point. He’s saying that he kills people. Lots and lots of people. 2,476,633 if you don't try to estimate the number, 24,644,205 if you do.

2. The next use of "drunk with blood" is similar. God’s sword is drunk with blood, too, just like his arrows.

   This is the day of the Lord GOD of hosts, a day of vengeance, that he may avenge him of his adversaries: and the sword shall devour, and it shall be satiate and made drunk with their blood. Jeremiah 46.10

   But God’s sword is not just drunk with blood, it's also filled and bathed with blood in heaven. (Who knew God would have a bloody sword in heaven?)

   My sword shall be bathed in heaven. Isaiah 34.5

   The sword of the LORD is filled with blood. Isaiah 34.6

   And he's dying to use it on pretty much everyone on earth.

   By his sword will the LORD plead with all flesh: and the slain of the LORD shall be many. Isaiah 66.16

   The sword of the LORD shall devour from the one end of the land even to the other end of the land: no flesh shall have peace. Jeremiah 12.12

   I … will draw forth my sword out of his sheath, and will cut off from thee the righteous and the wicked. Ezekiel 21.3

   My sword go forth out of his sheath against all flesh. Ezekiel 21.4

   I will bring a sword upon thee, and cut off man and beast out of thee. Ezekiel 29.8

   I shall brandish my sword before them; and they shall tremble at every moment, every man for his own life. Ezekiel 32.10

   Your young men have I slain with the sword … and I have made the stink of your camps to come up unto your nostrils. Amos 4.10

   I [Jesus] will … fight against them with the sword of my mouth. Revelation 2.16

   Another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword. Revelation 6.4

   God is as strong as a unicorn. (Heck, I bet he's even stronger than a unicorn.) He’ll break your bones and pierce your body with arrows.

   God ... hath ... the strength of an unicorn: he shall eat up the nations his enemies, and shall break their bones, and pierce them through with his arrows. Numbers 24.8

   I will spend mine arrows upon them. Deuteronomy 32.23

   God is angry with people every day. His sword is wet and his bow is bent. He has prepared all the instruments of death.

   God is angry with the wicked every day … he will whet his sword; he hath bent his bow, and made it ready. He hath also prepared for him the instruments of death. Psalm 7.11-13

   Even his clothes are sprinkled with the blood of his victims. (I don’t know whether his clothes are really dripping with blood in heaven. I don’t even know if he wears clothes. I’m just telling you what the Bible says.)

   I will tread them in mine anger, and trample them in my fury; and their blood shall be sprinkled upon my garments, and I will stain all my raiment. Isaiah 63.3

3. But God’s sword and arrows won’t be the only things drunk with blood. God also plans to force people (before he kills them) to eat their own flesh and get drunk on their own blood.

   I will feed them that oppress thee with their own flesh; and they shall be drunken with their own blood, as with sweet wine. Isaiah 49.26

   I’m not sure how much of this is metaphor. God often talks about forcing people to eat other people. That part, at least, is literal. Here are a few examples.

   Forcing people to eat themselves.

   And he shall snatch on the right hand, and be hungry; and he shall eat on the left hand, and they shall not be satisfied: they shall eat every man the flesh of his own arm. Isaiah 9.20

   Forcing parents to eat their children and friends to eat each other.

   Ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat. Leviticus 26.29

   Thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters. Deuteronomy 28.53

   The tender and delicate woman among you, which would not adventure to set the sole of her foot upon the ground for delicateness and tenderness, her eye shall be evil toward the husband of her bosom, and toward her son, and toward her daughter, And toward her young one that cometh out from between her feet, and toward her children which she shall bear: for she shall eat them. Deuteronomy 28.56-57

   I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they shall eat every one the flesh of his friend. Jeremiah 19.9

   The hands of the pitiful women have sodden their own children: they were their meat. Lamentations 4.10

   The fathers shall eat the sons in the midst of thee, and the sons shall eat their fathers. Ezekiel 5.10

   Let the rest eat every one the flesh of another. Zechariah 11.9

   So while it is true that part of God’s plan for humanity is forcing people to eat each other, he was probably just getting carried away with his own metaphor when he said they’d get drunk on their own blood.

   Oh, one more thing that believers should know. God wants them to keep their swords bloody, too. He’ll curse (and probably kill) anyone whose sword isn’t dripping with blood.

   Cursed be he that doeth the work of the LORD deceitfully, and cursed be he that keepeth back his sword from blood. Jeremiah 48.10

   Every man's sword shall be against his brother. Ezekiel 38.21

4. After God kills people, he will feed their bodies to the birds and beasts until they, too, become drunk with blood.

   Thus saith the Lord GOD; Speak unto every feathered fowl, and to every beast of the field, Assemble yourselves, and come; gather yourselves on every side to my sacrifice that I do sacrifice for you, even a great sacrifice upon the mountains of Israel, that ye may eat flesh, and drink blood. Ye shall eat the flesh of the mighty, and drink the blood of the princes of the earth … And ye shall eat fat till ye be full, and drink blood till ye be drunken, of my sacrifice which I have sacrificed for you. Ezekiel 39.17-19

   God talks a lot about feeding dead people to birds and animals. Here are some examples.

   Thy carcase shall be meat unto all fowls of the air, and unto the beasts of the earth, and no man shall fray them away. Deuteronomy 28.26

   The carcases of this people shall be meat for the fowls of the heaven, and for the beasts of the earth; and none shall fray them away. Jeremiah 7.33

   Come ye, assemble all the beasts of the field, come to devour. Jeremiah 12.9

   Their carcases shall be meat for the fowls of heaven, and for the beasts of the earth. Jeremiah 16.4

   Their carcases will I give to be meat for the fowls of the heaven, and for the beasts of the earth. Jeremiah 19.7

   Their dead bodies shall be for meat unto the fowls of the heaven, and to the beasts of the earth. Jeremiah 34.20

   I have given thee for meat to the beasts of the field and to the fowls of the heaven. Ezekiel 29.5

   I will cast thee forth upon the open field, and will cause all the fowls of the heaven to remain upon thee, and I will fill the beasts of the whole earth with thee. Ezekiel 32.4

   I will give thee unto the ravenous birds of every sort, and to the beasts of the field to be devoured. Ezekiel 39.4

   Thou hast given them blood to drink; for they are worthy. Revelation 16.6

   Come and gather yourselves together unto the supper of the great God. … And all the fowls were filled with their flesh. Revelation 19.17-21

   Someday believers will get into the act, too. Heck, they’re even going to get to drink the blood of God’s victims after they wash their feet in it.

   The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance: he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked. Psalm 58.10

   God shall wound the head of his enemies … that thy foot may be dipped in the blood of thine enemies, and the tongue of thy dogs in the same. Psalm 68.21-23

   The people shall rise up as a great lion, and lift up himself as a young lion: he shall not lie down until he eat of the prey, and drink the blood of the slain. Numbers 23.24

   And believers must drink the blood of Jesus if they want to get to heaven.

   Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you. Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day. John 6:53-54

5. And finally, the great whore of Babylon will be drunk with the blood of the saints and martyrs.

   I saw the woman drunken with the blood of the saints, and with the blood of the martyrs of Jesus: and when I saw her, I wondered with great admiration. Revelation 17.6

   https://dwindlinginunbelief.blogspot.com/2010/05/drunk-with-blood-its-one-of-gods.html  

Also see: A Religion Obsessed with Blood