Beyond being Religious to being Human
Has Letting Go of Dogma Changed Me?
My ideals, my character, my morality? NO!
In other words, what I stand for in life depends on where I situate myself daily.
Because my place in life is intentional.
My place in life shapes how I see, my perspective, my assumptions, my viewpoint, my world and life view.
Living Beyond Religion
“There remains an experience of incomparable value. We have for once learned to see the great events of world history from below, from the perspective of the outcasts, the suspects, the maltreated — in short, from the perspective of those who suffer. Mere waiting and looking on is not Christian behavior. Christians are called to compassion and to action.”
– Dietrich Bonhoeffer (Letters from Prison, p.16)
“The fact that people became heroes and sheroes can be credited to their ability to identify and empathize with the ‘other.’ These men and women could continue to live quite comfortably with their slow temperament but they chose not to. They made the decision to be conscious of the other –the homeless, the downtrodden and the oppressed. Heroism has nothing to do with skin color or social status. It is a state of mind and a willingness to act for what is right and just.” (Maya Angelou)
The three quotes above resonate deeply in me and have been doing so all of my life. They are the very core of my values, my golden rule. They shape and define who I am. And that has not changed as my philosophy has evolved. Actually, these values have even gotten stronger as I have progressed beyond religion. Blogging since 2006 has been part of the process. The focus of my blogging has been to unravel the cultural conditioning that has boggled and
stagnated my mind all of my life, while doing the inner work of chiseling out my own values and beliefs rather than just adopting those that have been handed to me. When I started blogging, it became clear to me that I wanted to use a language of inclusion rather than exclusion; a language of peace rather than division. Therefore I decided to minimize my use of the word God since it has so many meanings around the world (I've had visitors to my blog from 150 countries) and often any canned religious language can be quite divisive. My understanding has greatly deepened since then in so many ways. It has helped me to grow and see how critical it is to try to exclude all dogmatic language, beliefs, and thinking.
“There remains an experience of incomparable value. We have for once learned to see the great events of world history from below, from the perspective of the outcasts, the suspects, the maltreated — in short, from the perspective of those who suffer. Mere waiting and looking on is not Christian behavior. Christians are called to compassion and to action.”
– Dietrich Bonhoeffer (Letters from Prison, p.16)
“The fact that people became heroes and sheroes can be credited to their ability to identify and empathize with the ‘other.’ These men and women could continue to live quite comfortably with their slow temperament but they chose not to. They made the decision to be conscious of the other –the homeless, the downtrodden and the oppressed. Heroism has nothing to do with skin color or social status. It is a state of mind and a willingness to act for what is right and just.” (Maya Angelou)
The three quotes above resonate deeply in me and have been doing so all of my life. They are the very core of my values, my golden rule. They shape and define who I am. And that has not changed as my philosophy has evolved. Actually, these values have even gotten stronger as I have progressed beyond religion. Blogging since 2006 has been part of the process. The focus of my blogging has been to unravel the cultural conditioning that has boggled and
Religion is not worth its weight in dirt unless its followers can testify to real change. This testimony must attest to a deep transformation of character within, with others, and within our universe. This testimony must also be attested to by those that have been the most oppressed, thereby becoming the most vulnerable in the societies wherein said religion supposedly exists. Outside of this impact, all forms of religion rest in the dirt as nothing more than a temporal joke; here today, gone tomorrow.
"On this side of the wall between the religious and the nonreligious is so much more light, air, and space. I'm so much more accepting, so much interested in other ideas, so much interested in education, so much less judgmental, less phobic. It matters." (Seth Andrews)“For the simplicity on this side of complexity, I wouldn't give you a fig. But for the simplicity on the other side of complexity, for that I would give you anything I have.” (Oliver Wendell Holmes)
We must "develop our own capacity for spaciousness within ourselves to allow others to be as they are — that is love. And that doesn’t mean that we don’t have hopes or wishes that things are changed or shifted, but that to come from a place of love is to be in acceptance of what is, even in the face of moving it towards something that is more whole, more just, more spacious for all of us. It’s bigness. It’s allowance. It’s flexibility." (Rev. angel Kyodo williams. https://onbeing.org/programs/the-world-is-our-field-of-practice-apr2018/)
Clearing out the illusions of dogma has,
for me, been so freeing!!!
This inner work that I have been doing can be captured with the metaphor of woodcarving. We carefully choose a log, which looks nothing like what is real, essential, and necessary in the finished product. But we know that it has the capacity to become what we imagine. We can imagine it in there. In order to get rid of the excess, I ask myself the question as I carve, is this part necessary to create a meaningful image. Most of that process is removing that which is not part of the thing I'm creating. Although the final product is beyond my knowing, it is not beyond my imagination. I keep chiseling away and eventually an image begins to emerge almost as if it had always been there although it could not have been seen by the world or by me except in my imagination.
In other words, I have been doing the inner work of removing all that is unnecessary and nonessential so that what is left is real; that which is essential and absolutely necessary.
Another way to look at things is that some people require a high level of mediation to steer them toward the truth. The stories, the saints, the rituals, and holy days (holidays) are necessary for them not to lose touch with what is real and what is essential. But others of us need to clear out all of that mediation (mediated worship, mediated learning, mediated spirituality) in order to directly approach the sacred in which "we live and move and have our being."
I don’t see what has been happening to me as 'losing my religion' so much as learning to 'live beyond religion;' clearing space that has been cluttered by assumptions and dogma and beliefs, making room for better conversations, better thinking, and better understanding of reality and truth.
This inner work that I have been doing can be captured with the metaphor of woodcarving. We carefully choose a log, which looks nothing like what is real, essential, and necessary in the finished product. But we know that it has the capacity to become what we imagine. We can imagine it in there. In order to get rid of the excess, I ask myself the question as I carve, is this part necessary to create a meaningful image. Most of that process is removing that which is not part of the thing I'm creating. Although the final product is beyond my knowing, it is not beyond my imagination. I keep chiseling away and eventually an image begins to emerge almost as if it had always been there although it could not have been seen by the world or by me except in my imagination.
In other words, I have been doing the inner work of removing all that is unnecessary and nonessential so that what is left is real; that which is essential and absolutely necessary.
Another way to look at things is that some people require a high level of mediation to steer them toward the truth. The stories, the saints, the rituals, and holy days (holidays) are necessary for them not to lose touch with what is real and what is essential. But others of us need to clear out all of that mediation (mediated worship, mediated learning, mediated spirituality) in order to directly approach the sacred in which "we live and move and have our being."
"Remembering that the universe is so much larger than our ability to comprehend, let us go forth from this time together with the resolve to stop trying to reduce the incomprehensible to our own petty expectations, so that wonder - that sense of what is sacred - can find space to open up our minds and illumine our lives."- Marjorie Newlin Leaming -
I don’t see what has been happening to me as 'losing my religion' so much as learning to 'live beyond religion;' clearing space that has been cluttered by assumptions and dogma and beliefs, making room for better conversations, better thinking, and better understanding of reality and truth.
Religion will always be a part of who I am. A foundational part of my development as a child. But now, as I become a man, I must leave behind the childish things that are no longer necessary or essential and stand up into who I am at this time and at this place in my life; unmediated by my conditioning, all those voices (cultural and religious) that have been me who I am, at times yelling at me. Now I see those voices as external influences driving me toward conformity and normalcy. I am learning to hear my internal teacher telling me who I am, why I am here, and what I do about it through reflection, contemplation, discernment, found at my center of silence, from which I emerge as my own true self.
Perceptions and ideas, opinions and beliefs have a tendency to divide people or draw small groups of people together while excluding those that don’t agree. With the intention of being unconditional and inclusive, they become exclusive and conditional. There was a time when tribalism and nationalism is what we needed to survive. But in a global society, these beliefs and practices will destroy us. This exclusionary approach is not acceptable anymore in a world that is in constant contact with people globally, where we no longer depend on our tribe to survive but rather we depend on all people to survive. At one time, we had no other options but to consider our tribe to be our whole world, but no more. We must learn to live together as one human race honoring and sustaining our mother earth and mother nature upon which we all depend.
I am beginning to understand that the process or “journey” I’ve been on was inevitable. I did not choose it. It chose me. Often, I’ve thought about how much easier it would be to go back to my religion box and crawl in and be spoon fed,
being told:
What to think
How to think
What to believe
How to believe.
Who is right
Who is wrong
Who to include
Who to exclude
Who is deserving of love
Who is not deserving
Who is deserving to live
Who must die or be sent away.
I am not saying that everyone should believe like I do (or like I don’t). Some people can tolerate a great level of dissonance or often are probably not even aware of it. Not me... Some people need to have a system of belief, a human construct, that has been handed down to them in a prefab package in order to make sense of (or mediate) the complexities of life and death. Not me... After all, people have had these stories, myths, and theologies since the beginning of the human race, using them to bring people together for survival and protection from the "other". Finding answers to the great mysteries and naming “that which is greater than me” with labels like "God" are important and even necessary for them. Some people can insulate themselves from the piercing questions that keep coming at us from life and be fine without addressing them outside of their myths.
I am beginning to understand that the process or “journey” I’ve been on was inevitable. I did not choose it. It chose me. Often, I’ve thought about how much easier it would be to go back to my religion box and crawl in and be spoon fed,
being told:
What to think
How to think
What to believe
How to believe.
Who is right
Who is wrong
Who to include
Who to exclude
Who is deserving of love
Who is not deserving
Who is deserving to live
Who must die or be sent away.
I am not saying that everyone should believe like I do (or like I don’t). Some people can tolerate a great level of dissonance or often are probably not even aware of it. Not me... Some people need to have a system of belief, a human construct, that has been handed down to them in a prefab package in order to make sense of (or mediate) the complexities of life and death. Not me... After all, people have had these stories, myths, and theologies since the beginning of the human race, using them to bring people together for survival and protection from the "other". Finding answers to the great mysteries and naming “that which is greater than me” with labels like "God" are important and even necessary for them. Some people can insulate themselves from the piercing questions that keep coming at us from life and be fine without addressing them outside of their myths.
Myths replace disciplined inquiry in the same way that religion replaces the discernment of truth necessary for human morality. Any authority from the outside informing our inner values, beliefs, and morals is superficial. By downloading those extremely valuable things to guide our lives, we are short circuiting what it takes to discern the truth from the inside. When this process is inside out, then there is integrity. When it is outside in, it is superficial and suspect, earmarked for the discernment necessary to vet the truth and understand reality.
This outside-in process works for so many people that wish to download the second hand answers
as long as it results in thinking that is sustainable for all of life,
as long as it creates a world that works for all,
as long as it includes all and is unconditional,
as long as "pro-life" begins with nurturing that which is sacred and that which sustains all of life, which must include the earth under our feet and taking care of the most vulnerable among us.
This outside-in process works for so many people that wish to download the second hand answers
as long as it results in thinking that is sustainable for all of life,
as long as it creates a world that works for all,
as long as it includes all and is unconditional,
as long as "pro-life" begins with nurturing that which is sacred and that which sustains all of life, which must include the earth under our feet and taking care of the most vulnerable among us.
This outside-in process, these second hand answers, will never work. Truth for daily living must be arrived at through the inner work of inner discernment.
But I cannot be "comfortably numb." (Pink Floyd)
I cannot be "blindly oblivious." (Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death")
There is something about who I am that will not allow me to settle for pat answers and spoon-fed thinking.
There is an inner compulsion to question everything like the fire that purifies gold, burning off the dross (everything that is not essential, not absolutely necessary).
I am realizing that those are the things that have been creating dissonance deep within. I can no longer live with the dissonance and contradictions but rather I am compelled to embrace the paradoxes and mysteries through inquiry.
I have found that the “answers” that we cling to, the beliefs that we have been told, the theologies that we have been taught, fall far short of what I need. I’m no longer going to tell myself the stories of the past to try to make sense and find meaning in life. For me, this is like building my house on shifting sand, leaving me without a solid foundation even though I know that there is no certainty or security. In the life I know and live, the only constant is change just like shifting sand. I must ask the questions that emerge in the present moment and the answers can only come from current knowledge that we have here and now. The gaps of what we do not know are getting smaller and smaller. I do not need to fill those gaps with a god of my making, or a god of the past, or ancient myths; thus obliterating the awe and wonder of mystery.
All of society (including politics and religion)
But I cannot be "comfortably numb." (Pink Floyd)
I cannot be "blindly oblivious." (Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death")
There is something about who I am that will not allow me to settle for pat answers and spoon-fed thinking.
There is an inner compulsion to question everything like the fire that purifies gold, burning off the dross (everything that is not essential, not absolutely necessary).
I am realizing that those are the things that have been creating dissonance deep within. I can no longer live with the dissonance and contradictions but rather I am compelled to embrace the paradoxes and mysteries through inquiry.
I have found that the “answers” that we cling to, the beliefs that we have been told, the theologies that we have been taught, fall far short of what I need. I’m no longer going to tell myself the stories of the past to try to make sense and find meaning in life. For me, this is like building my house on shifting sand, leaving me without a solid foundation even though I know that there is no certainty or security. In the life I know and live, the only constant is change just like shifting sand. I must ask the questions that emerge in the present moment and the answers can only come from current knowledge that we have here and now. The gaps of what we do not know are getting smaller and smaller. I do not need to fill those gaps with a god of my making, or a god of the past, or ancient myths; thus obliterating the awe and wonder of mystery.
All of society (including politics and religion)
is designed to teach us not to think.
Just fit in.
Believe what you have been taught.
Just fit in.
Believe what you have been taught.
Do what you are told.
And allow yourself to be conformed to the world.
That way you can be a good little human.
That way you can be a part of the human herd.
That way your voice can be buried and silenced
And allow yourself to be conformed to the world.
That way you can be a good little human.
That way you can be a part of the human herd.
That way your voice can be buried and silenced
under the cultural weight of conformity.
For me, this conformity to the world
For me, this conformity to the world
applies primarily to the source of our authority.
To what do we answer?
To whom do we answer?
After what do we pattern our lives?
After whom do we pattern our lives?
Does our perception of reality come from inner discernment?
Or does our perception of reality come from what other people have told us?
Do our values and beliefs come from inner discernment?
Or do our values and beliefs come from what other people have told us?
Does the source of my life come from an internal authority?
Or is my identity derived from external authority; books, teachers, philosophies, religions, politics, consumerism, media, and on and on.
Do they belong to others or to me???
Am I second hand or am I original???
These are life or death questions.
To what do we answer?
To whom do we answer?
After what do we pattern our lives?
After whom do we pattern our lives?
Does our perception of reality come from inner discernment?
Or does our perception of reality come from what other people have told us?
Do our values and beliefs come from inner discernment?
Or do our values and beliefs come from what other people have told us?
Does the source of my life come from an internal authority?
Or is my identity derived from external authority; books, teachers, philosophies, religions, politics, consumerism, media, and on and on.
Do they belong to others or to me???
Am I second hand or am I original???
These are life or death questions.
Do I listen to the influences of culture
to determine what I need to make my life meaningful;
How to be popular?
How to make friends?
What to buy?
How to look?
What is cool?
What is popular?
Which people are important?
Which people are not important?
Who I will ignore?
Who I will gravitate toward?
Who I will stand with?
How to be popular?
How to make friends?
What to buy?
How to look?
What is cool?
What is popular?
Which people are important?
Which people are not important?
Who I will ignore?
Who I will gravitate toward?
Who I will stand with?
“Each of us is an artist of our days; the greater our integrity and awareness, the more original and creative our days will become.” (John O’Donohue)“We keep on being told that religion, whatever its imperfections, at least instills morality. On every side, there is conclusive evidence that the contrary is the case and that faith causes people to be more mean, more selfish, and perhaps above all, more stupid.” (Christopher Hitchens)
Living beyond religion, just being human, has strengthened my character, my mind, my ideals, and my morals as I bring every thought, every word, every action into submission to my inner authority (inner Light, inner Teacher). It forces me to do the inner work of discernment in every area of my life. It is up to me and no one else. No sermons, no books, no gurus, no classes, no workshop, no seminars. These are all crutches that we can depend on for an easy answer from an external authority. These may be good for the beginning of the journey to stimulate our thinking like noisy baby toys in the cradle but do not work for a good finish. Some of these external sources are helpful for a time but they too must be refined in fire, with inner discernment, so that they can be authentically and uniquely me. I am unique and NO ONE can TELL me what my life is all about. Only I can do that. Not flippantly but deeply, from the heart.
I am the only one that can answer these questions:
May I never give up or hand over the pen with which I am writing my story.
In doing so I am giving up and handing over my integrity and authenticity.
The beginning of the answers to these questions, for me, are reflected in the quotes at the beginning. These have not wavered at all for me from the years that I was religious to the time I am now learning to live beyond religion. For many years, religion helped me to solidify them. But like old wine skins or molting skin, there came the point that I had to let go in order to let come.
I am the only one that can answer these questions:
Who am I? (my Identity)
Why am I here? (my Purpose)
What am I going to do about it? (my Mission)
May I never give up or hand over the pen with which I am writing my story.
In doing so I am giving up and handing over my integrity and authenticity.
The beginning of the answers to these questions, for me, are reflected in the quotes at the beginning. These have not wavered at all for me from the years that I was religious to the time I am now learning to live beyond religion. For many years, religion helped me to solidify them. But like old wine skins or molting skin, there came the point that I had to let go in order to let come.
Here are a few other nuggets of gold that have been refined, that I live by:
We must always honor the deepest aspirations, hopes, and dreams of others (and ourselves), for within them are seeds of hope, of purpose, and of meaning. Their raison d’être. Don’t mess with this, for this is sacred and unique among each and every person on earth.
Living with Open Hands: an expression of an open mind, an open heart, and an open will.
There is dignity in each and every individual that comes from the sacredness within each human heart and soul.
In every person, Gifts are planted in this humus of Dignity and Sacredness within the soul.
Nurturing and Growing these Gifts, by Identifying and Using them, in a context (community) where they are Accepted and Appreciated is what gives life Meaning.
Meaning in life can only be discovered by each person. No one can prescribe this for another; it is innate; self defined, self determined, and self discovered. This is each person’s lifelong task.
There is a “place” that needs each individuals’ gifts. Therefore meaning only happens in the context of community.
In community, there is dignity that comes from the sacredness in the connectedness we have with each other.
This sacredness must be honored and revered. Whenever we encounter another person, we go away changed… for the better or for the worse.
Valuing others less than oneself is a form of profanity and a crime against humanity; against the nature of who we are because we are violating this sacredness.
We devalue others whenever we do not presume competence, do not believe in them; whenever we give them answers for their lives and presume that we are right.
Violence is anytime we violate the identity or integrity of another person.
I have found more answers that are written in these posts:
Guiding Principles
Core Values
For more on Living Beyond Religion see:
For more on Living Beyond Religion see:
That Which is Greater that Me
Why do you have beliefs? ... because beliefs give you certainty, security, comfort, safety, a guide.
"The question is: Is there not truth in religions, in theories, in ideals, in beliefs? Let us examine. What do we mean by religion? Surely, not organized religion, not Hinduism, Buddhism, or Christianity, which are all organized beliefs with their propaganda, conversion, proselytism, compulsion, and so on. Is there any truth in organized religion? It may engulf, enmesh truth, but the organized religion itself is not true. Therefore, organized religion is false, it separates man from man. You are a Muslim, I am a Hindu, another is a Christian or a Buddhist and we are wrangling, butchering each other. Is there any truth in that? We are not discussing religion as the pursuit of truth, but we are considering if there is any truth in organized religion. We are so conditioned by organized religion to think there is truth in it that we have come to believe that by calling oneself a Hindu, one is somebody, or one will find God. How absurd, sir; to find God, to find reality, there must be virtue. Virtue is freedom, and only through freedom can truth be discovered, not when you are caught in the hands of organized religion, with its beliefs. And is there any truth in theories, in ideals, in beliefs?
"Why do you have beliefs? Obviously, because beliefs give you security, comfort, safety, a guide. In yourself you are frightened, you want to be protected, you want to lean on somebody, and therefore, you create the ideal, which prevents you from understanding that which is. Therefore, an ideal becomes a hindrance to action".
- Krishnamurti, J. Krishnamurti, The Book of Life
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