If Only I Could …
Then life flattened me, uprooting everything, including all those so-called answers.
Believe what everyone believes.
Be like everyone else.
… but that’s not the shape of my heart
Learning to live the questions completely changed the trajectory of my life in such an aggravating and life-giving way.
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers. . . . Live the questions now.” (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet)
If only I could …
Think like everyone thinks.Believe what everyone believes.
Be like everyone else.
… but that’s not the shape of my heart
If only I could …
Not think, not care about what is real and true.
Be oblivious to the cognitive dissonance screaming in my head and heart.
Ignore the dissonance of the difference between what is real and the lifetime of fictions in my head.
Live in a box, a container of conditioning full of that which I’ve been told all of my life.
Live in a cocoon, all snug and warm, comfortable and secure, and so nicely certain.
Believe what I was told to believe, that system of beliefs that is delivered to your door predetermined primarily by zip codes, comfort zones, and religious and social bubbles.
Download the myths and mores of culture and automatically accept them and believe, conforming to this world.
Shrink the dimensions of my mind back to what it was before it expanded to see, feel, and understand a whole new paradigm and a whole new world.
Unsee the depth and breadth and richness that I have been shown once I let go of dogma.
Be oblivious to the cognitive dissonance screaming in my head and heart.
Ignore the dissonance of the difference between what is real and the lifetime of fictions in my head.
Live in a box, a container of conditioning full of that which I’ve been told all of my life.
Live in a cocoon, all snug and warm, comfortable and secure, and so nicely certain.
Believe what I was told to believe, that system of beliefs that is delivered to your door predetermined primarily by zip codes, comfort zones, and religious and social bubbles.
Download the myths and mores of culture and automatically accept them and believe, conforming to this world.
Shrink the dimensions of my mind back to what it was before it expanded to see, feel, and understand a whole new paradigm and a whole new world.
Unsee the depth and breadth and richness that I have been shown once I let go of dogma.
… but that’s not the shape of my heart
