All Lives Matter?

Of Course All Lives Matter. But that’s NOT the point!

Actually, it belittles and nullifies the point of Black Lives Matter.

When you say, “All Lives Matter” then you are protesting against those that are protesting for “Black Lives Matter.” What you are saying to them is, “No, Black Lives Don’t Matter” because they all matter. Put your sign away and go home!

Of course, all lives matter. 

That’s a given and has been a given all of my life.

There is no need to protest or contest that. There is no need for a movement for that.

But there is a huge need to support BLM as human beings, and especially as Christians.

Of course, being the white guy that I am, so often blinded by white privilege, I forget that when BLM first began, my first response as a good Christian was, “Well Jesus died for all lives so why doesn’t your sign say that?” But I was fortunate to be living in a home with three of us old farts where the other two were black guys that have advocated and fought for human rights all of their lives. It didn’t take long for me to see the light, believe me. But it also didn’t take long for me to forget. Because one of the main privileges of white privilege is that I can forget. I can not talk about it for years, especially if I isolate myself in a bubble of sameness like so many Christians and Americans do. I am so grateful that I kept pushing myself to cross boundaries everyday. I refused to live, work, raise my kids, send them to schools, or worship in segregated settings. Of that, I am so grateful. And I am so grateful to my kids for reviving this critical conversation with me again, as they recognize the richness they have gained being immersed in diverse settings. And as they are finding ways to become better allies and to become active in advocating for oppressed groups, which many of their friends are members. And as they too are struggling to understand their own privilege and oppression, being mixed race.

https://dbaronirvine.wordpress.com/2014/06/29/boundary-spanning/

The issue is this: can we be allies and support those that have been hurt in so many ways? Or is our privilege and need for dominance going to get in the way? Being allies means we must follow their lead. Part of the privilege that I couldn't see for a long time is that I always felt that if I'm really going to be "all in" then I have to take charge. My ideas and strategies have to dominate because that's how I have always made my best contribution. But NO. That's the last thing that is needed. To sustain change it must be authentic which means it has to be grass roots and led by the people that are the focus of the advocacy. It is them that are breaking the chains of oppression, not me. It is not about me!

One BLM leader in a large city said that their biggest barrier has been well-meaning while liberals. That sort of speaks for itself. In Detroit, I read an article where they were considering asking whites to not not be involved unless invited for a specific event. I'm glad they didn't have to go that far because there is a lot more power with more people, especially when we learn how to use our privilege for something bigger than ourselves. As allies, the main thing we must learn is to get out of the way. And that starts by listening to those that matter and be a resource, but stay out of the way and let them lead. There was a local startup movement in my city, Poor People's Movement, something that has been around in different forms from the time of Martin Luther King Jr. I was asked to be on the planning committee. I saw up close and personal what happens when someone tried to get involved without understanding what it means to be an ally. We never did get it started because that person would not get out of the way and kept trying to take charge. It was very sad to watch. What a waste.  

For more, see Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack of White Privilege

And Becoming Trustworthy White Allies by Melanie Morrison, both of which are so basic that they are profound and transformative for me at least.

House on fire analogy: breaking it down in very understandable terms and pictures.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/kristatorres/burning-house-black-lives-matter?fbclid=IwAR03JC0PfkyT6XN0UloUQW8MNGD8D_hG5m2zOyd9W0lvfVfuIVfXW4NqJUo

Video: https://www.tiktok.com/@giv.sharp/video/6832735871846993158

It is like walking up to someone that believes that abortion is wrong while they are picketing and saying, "All Live Matter." "There is no need to stand up against abortion. Go home!"

It is like going by a table that is raising money for breast cancer and saying, “but all cancers matter.” “You can’t just raise money for breast cancer, what about all of the other types?”

From my experience, it is mostly Christians that I know that are contesting BLM with ALM. What they seem to miss is that they are undermining one of the central messages of Jesus and the bible. How can we be a defender of the oppressed if we are Christians?

Does this matter? What would Jesus do? What did Jesus say? How did Jesus live? What does your God say? What does the bible say?

In Jesus' parable, people were classified as sheep or goats, separated according to whether they fed the hungry, gave drink to the thirsty, visited the prisoner, etc. Those that did not align themselves with the least of these and provide them with what they need were cast into hell. (Matt 25:32-46)

 

BLM is the same thing except that it is not just a matter of hunger, thirst, and prisoners, it is a matter of life and death for people because of their skin color.

I am sure that if Jesus were here, he would align himself at least with the least of these, and probably do a lot more.

All lives can’t matter unless Black Lives Matter.

A Page of Lost Questions

“A GREAT QUESTION refuses to be answered; so it keeps leading us into deeper connections with each other and into deeper thinking.” (Judith Snow)

 ~~~

All learning and all wisdom begins with an open mind and an open  heart that says, “I don’t know.”

 ~~~

Questioning keeps us open.

Openness allows us to learn.

~~~

Questions come

from a heart that is seeking

from a heart that is open

from a heart that is listening

from a heart that is willing to learn.

https://ronirvine.wordpress.com/2009/12/28/living-the-questions/

 ~~~

John O’Donohue was an Irish poet and philosopher who lived in a small cottage in the West of Ireland. He wrote several books including Anam Cara: The Book of Celtic Wisdom and Eternal Echoes: Celtic Reflections on Our Yearning to Belong. John passed away on January 3, 2008. He was 52 years old. You can access his website to learn more about John and his work.  www.johnodonohue.com

The Cocoon

Our Bubble of Sameness
Our Echo Chamber
Insulated and Isolated

Separated and Segregated

We are so quick to shy away from and avoid anything that is disruptive to our lifestyles, our values, our beliefs.

But there is no new learning, no change,
no growth, no new perspectives without disruption.

Without disruption of the status quo, we keep on
thinking and doing the same things over and over.

And yet we keep on talking to the same people,
having the same conversations,
thinking the same thoughts,
believing what we have been told,
following the same routines and habits.

Is that really what we want???
Why do we keep on doing things
that give us the same result that we do not want?

Will we ever dare to break out?

"Humanity has been sleeping -- and still sleeps -- lulled within the narrowly confining joys of its closed loves."

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Each year we live, layer after layer of conditioning creates a sort of cocoon where we see only what we are taught to see, hear only what we are listening for, the echo of our own voice; where we insulate and isolate ourselves from discomfort, insecurity, uncertainty, reality, truth, and the vulnerability of relationships as we sacrifice our own authenticity, identity, and integrity. After a while, we know nothing beyond our little cocoon. But that’s OK because it is safe and warm and predictable… and sleepy. We hang a sign on our cocoon, “Do Not Disturb!”

Meanwhile, “in the cocoon there is no idea of light at all, until we experience some longing for openness, some longing for something other than the smell of our own sweat.” (Chogyam Trungpa, Shambhala; the sacred path of the warrior)

The cocoon, by nature, can only be temporary, not a lifelong refuge. When we try to stay in the cocoon, it dries up and dies. In the cocoon, truth is rendered powerless and empty. Unknowingly, we bring our identity, our purpose, our religion into the cocoon with us. Layer on layer of conditioning dilutes and pollutes the vitality of compassion and peace, equality and integrity. True religion is buried with the spin of politics and commercialization of culture.

All we can hear is what we have been told.

All we hear is what we listen for.

All we hear is what we want to hear.

All we see is what is in our face in the dark.

All we see is what we are looking for.

All we see is what we want to see.

All we see is what is in our puny little world of our own making.

All we smell is our own sweat.

Sameness destroys disruption.

Comfortableness, security, certainty stifles disruption.

Difference and diversity nurtures disruption.

While disruption and growth destroys sameness, comfortableness, security, and certainty.

“When we hide from the world in this way, we feel secure. We may think that we have quieted our fear, but we are actually making ourselves numb with fear. We surround ourselves with our own familiar thoughts, so that nothing sharp or painful can touch us. We are so afraid of our fear that we deaden our hearts.” (Chogyam Trungpa, Shambhala; the sacred path of the warrior)

Our eyes… closed! Our ears… closed! Our minds… closed! Our hearts… closed! Our will… closed!

When will we wake up?

When will we break out?

Is there a glimmer of light, a hint of fresh air, that might pique our curiosity?

There is a whole universe out there; out beyond the walls of our puny little world.

There is a reality beyond our own making, maybe even a “God” beyond the one that we have created.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become breakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
C. S. Lewis
Source: The Four Loves

Let's step out of the cocoon, the casket, the coffin, and stand up into the Light.

Why so afraid to stand up?

Someone will tell you, ‘sit down’.

But herein is the truth:

someone will always tell you to sit down.

The ones we remember

. . . kept standing.

(Ruth Forman)

In the book, Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior, warriorship is taught as a way of life. A warrior lives a life of fearlessness only if the person lives a life that is fully aware and fully present. The characteristic at the core of warriorship is gentleness; which comes from tenderness.

“Real fearlessness is the product of tenderness. It comes from letting the world (touch) your heart, your raw and beautiful heart. You are willing to open up, without resistance or shyness, and face the world. You are willing to share your heart with others.”

“In the Shambhala tradition, discovering fearlessness comes from working with the softness of the human heart.” “When a human being first gives birth to the tender heart of warriorship… you no longer need to feel shy or embarrassed about being gentle. In fact, your softness begins to become passionate. You would like to extend yourself to others and communicate with them. When tenderness evolves in that direction, then you can truly appreciate the world around you. Sense perceptions become very interesting things. You are so tender and open already that you cannot help opening yourself to what takes place all around you … You begin to feel comfortable being a gentle and decent person.”

Being Open to Me

A reminder to myself…

We tend to beat ourselves up over our imperfections because we are culturally conditioned to do so. The nature of conditioning is that often we do not even know we are doing it. Conditioning sustains itself through its own invisibility.

We are human and we cannot change who we are. We can only accept ourselves as we are and move forward. Actually, accepting ourselves as we are is the first step to moving forward. If we do not fully accept ourselves, then we cannot accept others either.

‘Homo sum, humani nil a me alienum puto. I am a human being, nothing human can be alien to me.’ That’s one thing I’m learning.” ~ Maya Angelou

Our judgmental thinking is a constant and hard-wired into us. Thought has a mind of its own. We

must learn to pay attention to our thoughts and observe them. We are constantly making assumptions, judging, labeling, categorizing ourselves and others. Thought constantly is creating an image of ourselves and of others. Then thought tells us that this is the way the world really is, without reminding us that these stories in our heads are just that, stories in our heads. We are caught in a viscous cycle of thought creating the world and then saying, I didn’t do it. We are automatonic illusion machines with thought running away with reality, especially in the middle of the night.

So how do we begin? First we accept and love ourselves unconditionally. Then we guard our hearts by paying attention to our thoughts and the tricks they are playing. This requires time alone in silence. It is a discipline.

Ubuntu

In the Spirit of Ubuntu
umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu: a person is a person through other persons

I am . . . because we are

‎”What every single human being longs for, at the deepest level, is to be seen for who they are.” (Sarita Chawla)

“The Quaker teacher Douglas Steele was fond of saying that the ancient human question ‘Who am I?’ leads inevitably to the equally important question ‘Whose am I?’ – for there is no selfhood outside of relationship.” (Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak)

“Everybody is half-dead. Everybody avoids everybody, all over the place, in most situations, most all the time. I know; I’m one of those ‘everybodys.’ And, to me, it’s terrible. And so all I’m trying to do, all the time, is just open people up so they…let themselves be open to somebody else. That is all. That’s it.” -Nina Simone

“Neighbors, coworkers, and even family members can live side by side for years without learning much about each other’s lives. As a result, we lose something of great value, for the more we know about another’s story, the harder it is to hate or harm that person.” (Parker Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness, p. 123)

The Necessity of Diversity

“We need to depend on diversity”

CELEBRATE!!! Every word and thought, every opinion and belief, every perspective and

understanding is filtered through a lifetime of personal experiences. That's why each person's viewpoint is so completely different from others. Diversity is embedded deep in our bones. Diversity is not only external but internal. CELEBRATE!!!

EXTERNAL DIVERSITY (visible like race, ethnicity, age, physical disabilities, sexual orientation...) and
INTERNAL DIVERSITY (invisible like values, beliefs, perspectives, hidden disabilities, sexual identity...)

No two people see things the same. Diverse perspectives are as common as the air we breathe; essential and inevitable and permeating all aspects of the life that we share.

Why I Write

I do not write because I understand. I write in order to understand.

Writing for me has become a deeply transformational spiritual discipline.

I started blogging 13 years ago. I felt like I was entering a wilderness of my own. I see my blogging as a way to map my spiritual journey. Little did I know what the future had in store . . . a deep and excruciating depression, divorce, loss of my kids halftime to joint custody, job loss, loss of health benefits, foreclosure of the home my children were born in; and I turned 50 all that spring. My wilderness was like an earthquake that left nothing unturned. So each time I post, like the Israelites in the wilderness, it was a monument to something new (a new perspective or insight or a new set of questions) that I must REMEMBER. So like the Israelites, I go back to my “monuments”, my altars of stone, my piles of rocks, regularly. I want to make sure I never forget my own pain and its transformation of my heart nor do I ever want to forget the pain of others. I now can enter in to their pain with them and just be there with them. See more here: The Way of Compassion and The Way of the Brokenhearted

The Open Hand

There are two distinct approaches to living life:
Open hand living
or
Clenched fist living

Our hands are an expression of our heart and mind, our inner self.
As an artist expresses the inner self . . .
As a warrior expresses the inner self . . .
As a villan expresses the inner self . . .
As a thief expresses the inner self . . .
. . . Through the hand,

So do we in our every action and re-action
To people and to life

“Think of the difference between being confronted with a clenched fist and being offered an open hand. The clenched fist signifies threat, rejection, arrogance, exclusion, refusal, anger and violence. The open hand means friendship, help, peace, sharing, communication and connection.” (fr. Vivian Boland)