Triggering Fear

Fearmongering

I find it very interesting how words related to fear have become very popular lately. 

Xenophobia

Agoraphobia

Homophobia

Androphobia

Anthropophobia

Gynophobia

Arachnophobia

Autophobia

And there is even phobophobia, the fear of phobias.

Phobias are a type of anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders are very common. They’re estimated to affect more than 30 percent of U.S. adults at some time in their lives.

https://www.healthline.com/health/list-of-phobias

What triggers fear?

Real danger that triggers a fight or flight response for survival.

Imagined danger that can be triggered by words and phrases, anxiety and phobias.

Most of our lives, we live in fear…

… fear of the future

… fear of the past

… fear of regret

… fear of failure

… fear of falling short

… fear of what others might think

… fear of having too little

… fear of not achieving enough

… fear of losing things and people

… fear of death

… fear of life and really living

 

Why do we fear that which we do not agree,

that which is not the same?

Diversity and divergent perspectives are everywhere...

the essence of life itself.

 

Why do we fear what we do not understand,

that which may be beyond understanding?

Mystery and uncertainty is everywhere...

the essence of life itself.

 

So we must learn to...

Embrace mystery.

Embrace diversity.

Embrace change.

Amygdala: Instinctively Triggering Fear

Why do we attack that which we fear?

When there is now rarely a need 

for the survival response of fear?

Here's why...

 

Being a Victim of Change

Being a victim in and of a changing world
(focusing on white fragility)

In a world that is changing exponentially, in a world where knowledge

of our world is changing exponentially, we can choose to keep up or to play the role of the victim whining about what we do not like and do not understand; either because we can't or because we refuse.

For a long time, I refused to not share anything related to politics or religion on social media because of the compulsive trolls that get a kick out of social media bullying. I get a kick out of people that think they know me more than I know myself and have all the perfect labels and names to call me. I never go to other people's facebook page and argue. I feel that is insulting and crossing boundaries. But I tell them that, although their insults are not welcome on my page, they are free to take anything from my page and start an argument on their own page. (I don't think that works) BUT what has changed is that I will not let someone come at me with this know-it-all attitude that is so prevalent now days without me speaking the truth in love back to them.

This is the email forward sent sent by a family member. Below is my response.

The Email: privilege or fragility?

The content of this email is a perfect example of two of my recent posts:   https://livingwithopenhands2.blogspot.com/2020/04/labeling-categorizing-and-eliminating.html and

https://livingwithopenhands2.blogspot.com/2020/03/the-virus-of-mind-mental-health-pandemic.html 

____________________________________

Compassion First

Compassion First???

A requirement and priority for being human 

as well as a test of the authenticity of all the religious as well as the nonreligious.

It seems we have forgotten.

We must remember what we’ve always known.

If we are to live together as human beings, then we must learn to put love central to our politics and our religion.

As the Dalai Lama says,  “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.”

"Rather than take religious views and teachings to be ultimate statements of absolute truth, they might be better understood as skillful means to liberate the mind. Instead of pitting one view against another, we might let go of rigid attachment to any view, and ask the very pragmatic question, “Is this teaching leading my heart and mind to greater wisdom and peace, to greater kindness and compassion? Or does it lead to more divisiveness, to more selfishness, to more violence?” ("Mindfulness, Compassion & Wisdom: Three Means To Peace" by Joseph Goldstein)

“A compassionate city is an uncomfortable city!
A city that is uncomfortable when anyone is homeless or hungry.
Uncomfortable if every child isn't loved and given rich opportunities to grow and thrive.
Uncomfortable when any group anywhere in the world is marginalized or oppressed.
Uncomfortable when as a community we don't treat our neighbors as we would wish to be treated.”
(Karen Armstrong, Charter for Compassion)

Understanding

Walking in their Shoes …

“Walking a mile in someone else’s shoes isn’t as much about the walk or the shoes; it’s to be able to think like they think, feel what they feel, and understand why they are who and where they are. Every step is about empathy.” (Toni Sorenson, The Great Brain Cleanse)

“Before you judge my life, my past or my character. walk in my shoes, walk the path I have traveled, live my sorrow, my doubts, my fear, my pain and my laughter.”

“Empathy is about standing in someone else’s shoes, feeling with his or her heart, seeing with his or her eyes. Not only is empathy hard to outsource and automate, but it makes the world a better place.” https://celebrateyoga.org/33-quotes-walking-someone-elses-shoes/

There really is no integrity or authenticity in our “knowing” if it is outside of the context of relationship and direct experience.

… until one walks in their shoes, one cannot imagine.

If one cannot imagine, one cannot understand.

What one cannot understand is feared, and fear creates stories in the mind;
little fictions unconsciously designed to create comfort and security by diminishing those that create fear.

Those that choose to do so will tell themselves they are comfortable and secure; and believe it.

Thus creating in the mind stories that make people invisible and without voice. Thought is constantly doing that. It is a survival instinct.

“That which is different, we don’t understand.
That which we don’t understand, we fear.
That which we fear, we kill.

“We kill people in many other ways
than through war and murder.

“We kill people with a look
of disregard or disgust.

“We kill people by looking
down on them.

“We kill people with words
that pierce to the heart.

All Lives Matter?

Of Course All Lives Matter. But that’s NOT the point!

Actually, it belittles and nullifies the point of Black Lives Matter.

When you say, “All Lives Matter” then you are protesting against those that are protesting for “Black Lives Matter.” What you are saying to them is, “No, Black Lives Don’t Matter” because they all matter. Put your sign away and go home!

Of course, all lives matter. 

That’s a given and has been a given all of my life.

There is no need to protest or contest that. There is no need for a movement for that.

But there is a huge need to support BLM as human beings, and especially as Christians.

Of course, being the white guy that I am, so often blinded by white privilege, I forget that when BLM first began, my first response as a good Christian was, “Well Jesus died for all lives so why doesn’t your sign say that?” But I was fortunate to be living in a home with three of us old farts where the other two were black guys that have advocated and fought for human rights all of their lives. It didn’t take long for me to see the light, believe me. But it also didn’t take long for me to forget. Because one of the main privileges of white privilege is that I can forget. I can not talk about it for years, especially if I isolate myself in a bubble of sameness like so many Christians and Americans do. I am so grateful that I kept pushing myself to cross boundaries everyday. I refused to live, work, raise my kids, send them to schools, or worship in segregated settings. Of that, I am so grateful. And I am so grateful to my kids for reviving this critical conversation with me again, as they recognize the richness they have gained being immersed in diverse settings. And as they are finding ways to become better allies and to become active in advocating for oppressed groups, which many of their friends are members. And as they too are struggling to understand their own privilege and oppression, being mixed race.

https://dbaronirvine.wordpress.com/2014/06/29/boundary-spanning/

The issue is this: can we be allies and support those that have been hurt in so many ways? Or is our privilege and need for dominance going to get in the way? Being allies means we must follow their lead. Part of the privilege that I couldn't see for a long time is that I always felt that if I'm really going to be "all in" then I have to take charge. My ideas and strategies have to dominate because that's how I have always made my best contribution. But NO. That's the last thing that is needed. To sustain change it must be authentic which means it has to be grass roots and led by the people that are the focus of the advocacy. It is them that are breaking the chains of oppression, not me. It is not about me!

One BLM leader in a large city said that their biggest barrier has been well-meaning while liberals. That sort of speaks for itself. In Detroit, I read an article where they were considering asking whites to not not be involved unless invited for a specific event. I'm glad they didn't have to go that far because there is a lot more power with more people, especially when we learn how to use our privilege for something bigger than ourselves. As allies, the main thing we must learn is to get out of the way. And that starts by listening to those that matter and be a resource, but stay out of the way and let them lead. There was a local startup movement in my city, Poor People's Movement, something that has been around in different forms from the time of Martin Luther King Jr. I was asked to be on the planning committee. I saw up close and personal what happens when someone tried to get involved without understanding what it means to be an ally. We never did get it started because that person would not get out of the way and kept trying to take charge. It was very sad to watch. What a waste.  

For more, see Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack of White Privilege

And Becoming Trustworthy White Allies by Melanie Morrison, both of which are so basic that they are profound and transformative for me at least.

House on fire analogy: breaking it down in very understandable terms and pictures.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/kristatorres/burning-house-black-lives-matter?fbclid=IwAR03JC0PfkyT6XN0UloUQW8MNGD8D_hG5m2zOyd9W0lvfVfuIVfXW4NqJUo

Video: https://www.tiktok.com/@giv.sharp/video/6832735871846993158

It is like walking up to someone that believes that abortion is wrong while they are picketing and saying, "All Live Matter." "There is no need to stand up against abortion. Go home!"

It is like going by a table that is raising money for breast cancer and saying, “but all cancers matter.” “You can’t just raise money for breast cancer, what about all of the other types?”

From my experience, it is mostly Christians that I know that are contesting BLM with ALM. What they seem to miss is that they are undermining one of the central messages of Jesus and the bible. How can we be a defender of the oppressed if we are Christians?

Does this matter? What would Jesus do? What did Jesus say? How did Jesus live? What does your God say? What does the bible say?

In Jesus' parable, people were classified as sheep or goats, separated according to whether they fed the hungry, gave drink to the thirsty, visited the prisoner, etc. Those that did not align themselves with the least of these and provide them with what they need were cast into hell. (Matt 25:32-46)

 

BLM is the same thing except that it is not just a matter of hunger, thirst, and prisoners, it is a matter of life and death for people because of their skin color.

I am sure that if Jesus were here, he would align himself at least with the least of these, and probably do a lot more.

All lives can’t matter unless Black Lives Matter.

Fragmentation or Wholeness

A Dearth of Authenticity

“If spirituality is to be authentic, it is not going to be disconnected from the realities of all of our lives—from your day-to-day life and from our collective life. Even our realization, our awakening experiences, our revelatory moments—they all, in their own way, seek to be grounded in the embodied soil of our own humanity.” ~ Adyashanti

 

“I’m discovering that the reasons I tell myself that I do things are not the real reasons.” (Charles Eisenstein)

 

Each of us have an inner life and an outer life. Visible and invisible. To what extent do they match? To what extent are they both seen in me? Seen by others… and by myself???

“When we reconnect who we are with what we do, we approach our lives and our work with renewed passion, commitment, and integrity.” (Center for Courage and Renewal)

Being me is a blessing and a curse. 

I am so introspective that it is exhausting.

But if I am not questioning myself like this,

Then who am I???

If I don’t do the right thing.

Then I am no one.

 

“As above, so below, 

as within, so without, 

as the universe, so the soul…”

― Hermes Trismegistus

"An unexamined life is not worth living."

(Socrates)

”Appear As You Are,

Be As You Appear”

-JaLaL-UD-Din Rumi-

 

Why are we so polarized collectively?

It begins with us being so fragmented individually.

Does our spirituality define our political decisions?

How do we treat people that think differently?

What is our response to racial upheaval?

What is our response to the pandemic?

 

Why do we do what we do?

Why do we follow the politics we follow? Because my friends or neighbors do? Because my church does? Because that’s what I feel I must do? Because I’m told to?

 

Why do we follow at all? What is our source of authority? Is it our culture? Our teachers? The televangelist or preacher?

Why do we not follow our heart? Our inner teacher. Our inner Light. Our inner Spirit?

Why do we not follow that which we know down deep is the right thing to do?

Into the Abyss

Aging in Place

More deeply, broadly, and honestly

Into the Abyss

The longer I am here on this earth

The less I am content to exist on the surface

The more I need to descend into the abyss*

The more I must see and live beyond and below the surface

As I grow older, I see more deeply, broadly, and honestly

I see less clearly, less distinctly, less further away

I see less down the road and more here and now

I see less possibilities and more limitations

I see less answers, and yet more questions and mystery

I see less righteousness and yet more sacredness

I see less certainty and yet more hope, more wonder and awe

I see a smaller world that I more fully inhabit

Letting go and living the questions, loving the mystery

Letting go and living the wonder, embracing the uncertainty

Letting go and living the sacred where nothing is ordinary

Letting go and living here and now, in place, without worry.

Seeing all things with new eyes...

Settling into My Abyss

I feel like I have lived 3 very distinct lives and am beginning my 4th. I have been through some form of my own abyss each time. So what I’m expressing here is more of a matter of “settling into my abyss.” I’ve learned over the past 14 years while entering and emerging from the Dark Night of the Soul (My Abyss) into the light, Joseph Campbell’s Power of Myth speaks to me everyday. Life is quite a journey. I still struggle to see myself as the hero he depicts in all of us, but I guess we are all the heroes of our own lives. Whether a triumphant hero, a hero that barely survived, or a hero stuck in the muck of addiction or depression or self deprecation, either way, we are the main character of our lives. No one else is going to endure your journey. And no one else is going to discover and recover your treasure buried in your abyss. And no one else can tell your story. But it is in the telling that we find meaning and come alive.