“Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked." Victor Frankl
“Why do you hurry?
When you rush, you lose things along the way.
But when you slow down, things come to you.”
(Bedouin Guide)
As I progress through this life, growing older, growing up, growing down, slowing down, paying more attention, appreciating life more, seeing more clearly that which is essential; I realize more and more that less is more. But what does that mean? And what is the tangible and visible expression of living knowing that less really is more?
Go go go. More more more. Higher higher higher. Further further further. Bigger bigger bigger.
Climb that mountain. Run that marathon. Go for it all. Never give up. Never give in. Never stop.
All of our lives, society is telling us to throw ourselves into everything we do. Be the best. Excel over all others. Waking up in the morning to some inner voice from somewhere saying, be ready, psych yourself up to give it your all. So we exercise until injury stops us. We climb the career ladder until we hit the ceiling, like the Peter principle tells us: rising to our highest level of incompetence. We strive to be popular until our friends begin to drift away, as they always do, as everything always does. We religion our way through life. But when we religion our way into the abyss, there is nothing but the abyss staring back; empty doing, empty praying, empty singing, empty study of the holy books; a weariness of the flesh. And even the silent listening of worship becomes more and more silent. Where is the light? Where is the inner voice? Where is meaning? What is meaning? Where is purpose? What is purpose?
The longer I live, the smaller I become; fading fading fading into nothingness.
The longer I live, the less I know; receding receding receding into the mystery
in silent stupor and awe. Staring staring staring at the wall, seeing nothing.
The longer I live, the less I’m right, less less less telling.
The longer I live, the less I want to be right, less less less convincing anyone of anything.
The longer I live, the less speaking, more more more listening.
The longer I live, the less I know, more more more questions questions questions.
The longer I live, the less I believe without questioning questioning questioning.
We come to this earth alone in stillness and in darkness. Unaware.
When we are born, we are startled awake by a baby’s cry, oh, that’s me.
We leave this earth alone in stillness and in darkness. Unaware.
Yet, while we are here, we exhaust ourselves with rushing about
In the clamoring noise and glaring lights. Always on. Nonstop.
Desperate to leave something behind, to leave some legacy.During the years between the cradle and the grave,
we turn up the volume and turn on the neon lights,
while we search for that right immortality project
that will halt the lifelong terror that is pursuing
and haunting us every moment of every day:
the intolerable fear of death,
and knowing that the moment we are born
is the moment we begin to die.
So we live to live. But in order to do that,
we must live to find a way to halt the only thing
that is certain, our imminent demise.
So we live loud to drown out our terror.
We will not accept it. We did not sign up for this.
Death must be overcome.
So we find the right religious or spiritual belief system
that convinces us that we can and will overcome death.
Something we can believe whether it is true or not…
And then we die. Wondering why.
As a single father, there was never ending worry for so many years
about the welfare of my kids;
needing money, needing food, lacking energy,
needing companionship, needing help,
needing sleep, always needing sleep.
Worrying and wondering. Worrying and weary.
Tattered and torn, worn and weary to the bone.
Constantly hoping to just survive, to stay alive,
clinging to life and wondering why.
But being a father gave me meaning,
purpose, joy, satisfaction.
Nothing filled me so full
of life and love and peace.
As life goes by and I grow older and older.
Life is changing. Changing. Changing.
I used to be full
And overflowing
With energy and joy and hope
knowing someday I’ll have it all.
The american dream, signed and sealed:
family, career, religion, money, things,
as everything continually slips through my fingers.
Striving. Yearning. Wanting.
Longing. Wishing. Expecting.
Bigger. Greater. Better.
Career. Success. Renown.
Grow down. Slow down.
Surrender. Let go.
It all fades away anyway.
Now? Old. Empty. Less. Still. Quiet. Peace.
Listening. Observing. Wondering. Calm.
Ready. Waiting. Willing. Open.
Hineni Hineni Hineni.*
Here I am. Here and Now.
Selah…**
Aging. Fading into the nothingness.
Full and overflowing with no-thing.
Spent. Empty. None of me left.
Wanting nothing.
Longing for nothing.
Desiring nothing
except to just be.
Open hands, open heart,
open mind, open will.
Open eyes, open ears.
Observing, listening, wondering.
Ready. Waiting. Willing.
Hineni: Here am I.*
Turning the page.
Selah…**
Neverending change.
Constant transition.
What’s next?
If good happens, good.
If bad happens, good.
(Lao Tzu)
“Let me live as long as life is better for me,
and take my life if death is better for me.”
(ancient apostle)
This rips and tears at me in such wondrous ways!
The Downward Journey
It's okay not to have New Years resolutions
It's okay not to have big goals for your life
It's okay not to have plans you want to
Manifest
It's okay not to chase your dreams
That path is not for everyone
Some walk the path of
Unbecoming
They are traveling the road
Backwards
Seeking the core
What is basic and essential
What has been there all along
Though we may be headed the same direction
Our spirals are mirror opposites
Some walk the path of the visionary
Creating abundance and
Dancing inside a multiplicity of forms
And Some walk the path
Of the serpent owl
Becoming more and more naked
Shedding layers of fantasy into the ash
Night sky
Sitting in the dark
And seeing the way the wind moves
They do not walk a line or
Poise their arrow to the target
They sit at the bottom of the ocean
And wait
Letting the waves devour them
They are following the pulse
Of listening
To silence
Like a tiger in the brush
Waiting for existence to strike lightening
Into the fire of the heart
For this kind
Nothing less will do
Some are opening the palms of their hands
And unraveling
To become
Less and less
Until they are
No-Thing
To become the still point
In the center of
All
You know who you are
Keep going
- Maya Luna
From OMEGA: Feral Secrets of the Deep Feminine
This ancient bit of wisdom shows that flash and bang, glitz and glamor, do not make us more human. It simply shows that you really don’t know what it means to be fully human and live life naturally.
She who stands on tiptoe
doesn’t stand firm.
She who rushes ahead
doesn’t go far.
She who tries to shine
dims her own light.
She who defines herself
can’t know who she really is.
She who has power over others
can’t empower herself.
She who clings to her work
will create nothing that endures.
If you want to accord with the Tao,
just do your job, then let go.
(Tao Te Ching)
—Translator: Stephen Mitchell
“Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For it is the one who is least among you all who is the greatest.” (Jesus, Luke 9:48)
5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. (Jesus, Matthew 6)
* Hineni is a Hebrew word that has two parts. Hineh means here and Ani means I. The modern Hebrew word for here is Po, which means “here” in the sense of attendance or role call. But Hineni is “here” in the sense of a deep and waiting presence. Sometimes it is translated as “Behold!” Hineni is used in the Torah as a deeply rooted and authentic response to God in a way that is almost a form of worship in the sense of being ready, willing, waiting, and listening. Hineni has also been used by God in response to a person’s outcry. For me, it is a very profound response to life and to the universe as a nontheist, a human response to that which is greater than me.
** Selah is a Hebrew musical term used in the Psalms. Its true meaning is a mystery but based on context, it seems to denote a pause. “Think about this.” “Consider the words you just heard.” It is a thoughtful pause to reflect.
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